


Distant Sun

by leiasfate



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Betrayal, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hatred, Persistent Kara, Rage, Red Lantern AU, Red Lantern Corps - Freeform, Slow Burn, dark kara, major mood swings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-03-24 13:36:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13812267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leiasfate/pseuds/leiasfate
Summary: She's done with people pushing her around, lying to her and betraying her. She's done feeling helpless, lost and discarded. She's done with hope, faith and acceptance. Now, all that's left is rage. And she'll burn the universe down before she lets another person tell her who she should be.





	1. Prologue

_“Wordkiller. A bioengineered creature made by a group of kryptonian scientists in order to purify the universe and protect Krypton in case of attack.”_

_“How do I defeat her?”_

_“You can’t defeat perfection, my daughter. She was made to save Krypton.”_

_“She’s not saving anything! She’s destroying. Who made her?”_

_“Your father, Zor-El.”_

_“No. No. No. This can’t be happening.”_

_Her father was a monster, and she had known it deep inside her heart. He was a disgrace to Krypton, to the House of El._

_She’d been so naive to think her parents were perfect. They lied to her every single day she spent with them._

_Anger filled her soul, making her scream and blast everything in the room, including her mother’s hologram._

_There was one thing that she was certain of._

_She hated Zor-El._

 

* * *

 

Kara stood in front of everyone at the DEO, breathing heavily, eyes glowing red with heat.

“Kara! Calm down, what happened?” Alex was trying to touch her arm, but she immediately snapped it out of the way.

“Zor-El. He created Reign.”

She still couldn’t believe it. Her father, the person who had been her role model all of her life, was a traitor. And her mother knew. She knew everything, and never moved a finger to stop it. Alura was just as bad as him.

Hatred flooded through her veins, consuming her soul. The betrayal of both of her parents was pushing her off the edge.

“How do you know?” Her sister’s question was muted by her mind, only focusing on anger.

They had betrayed her by sending her away. They had betrayed her by lying to her about Astra. They had betrayed her by creating a virus that could wipe out entire species. They had betrayed her by creating a monster.

Suddenly, all she could see was red, and a voice filled the entire room.

**“Kara Zor-El of Krypton.”**

Every moment of anger in her life flashed before her eyes.

Saying goodbye to her family.

Kal-El telling her Krypton was gone.

**“You have great Rage in your heart.”**

Being rejected by people at school.

Alex always telling her what to do.

Alura lying to her about Astra.

Her father admitting he created Medusa.

Mon-El leaving Earth.

**“You belong.”**

Seven months of self-loathing.

Mon-El kissing Imra.

Reign.

**“To the Red Lantern Corps.”**

A ring placed itself on her right hand’s middle finger, its power instantly taking over her. Red liquid washed over her, covering her entire body.

In the blink of an eye, she was gone.

 

  
Kara disappeared.


	2. Chapter 2

Mon-El was losing his mind.

He paced around the DEO, biting his nails to their roots.

_Kara. Kara. Kara. Kara._

That was the mantra on his brain. She was gone. She just disappeared. Everyone started panicking, until J’onn demanded them to do their jobs. Winn searched frantically for Kara, his hands shaking above the computer keyboard. Alex had entered a state of shock: she was sitting in a chair staring into a wall, tears running down her face. J’onn went out to search for her in the sky, but with no results. Mon-El couldn’t stop moving.

It had been twelve hours. Twelve hours of not knowing what happened to her. Twelve hours of being in hell. He was sure his hair was almost all gone, given how many times he had pulled at it.

Because it wasn’t just any disappearance. It was worse. He heard the voice. Everybody heard the voice.

_“You have great Rage in your heart.”_

He knew it wasn’t just because of her parents’ betrayal. It was because of him. And the guilt was eating him alive.

He should have told her the marriage was arranged. At least with that, she wouldn’t have thought he forgot her. She had been right before, the truth never hurt as much as secrets.

And it had all been a lie. The Legion, the marriage, everything. They went behind his back almost since the beginning. He didn’t even want to look at their faces anymore.  
But the worst part wasn’t that. The worst part was that he could’ve been back with Kara so long ago, and they deprived him of that chance. Their betrayal was a factor of Kara’s pain. He would never forgive them for that.

_“You belong to the Red Lantern Corps.”_

Mon-El, with many years of experience in the 31st century, had never heard of that. He heard about Green Lanterns, for sure, but he didn’t know about the red ones.  
J’onn knew, though. With hundreds of years on Earth, he had seen everything. He told them that they were the most violent of the Corps. Their power was based on the emotional spectrum, specifically rage. And he didn’t know how Kara would react to her new affiliation. If she wasn’t already, Kara had become the most powerful being in the universe with that ring. And she could also become its biggest threat.

But they all new better. Kara was strong, and they were sure she would be able to control her anger.

Mon-El didn’t know what to do, how to find her. He felt useless and worthless.

He was mad at himself, for making her suffer. And for not being there for her sooner.

“MON-EL! CAN YOU STOP PACING AROUND? IT’S INFURIATING.”

He jumped at Alex’s yells, startled that she had come out of her shock. He didn’t blame her, though. He was also on the edge of losing his sanity.

“Sorry.” He muttered.

Winn looked up from his computer, his eyes bloodshot. “Nothing. I can’t find her. There is no sign of her anywhere. Damn it!” He punched the table with his face.

Mon-El wanted to scream. He was desperate.

He clutched the necklace on his neck, closing his eyes.

“Come back to me, Kara. Please.”

 

* * *

 

 

Twenty hours. There was no progress. She was still missing.

Mon-El had gone from pacing around to sitting still beside Winn, not even blinking. He felt empty inside, like his soul and heart had been taken away. And maybe they were. Because Kara was his heart and soul.

J’onn’s voice got him out of his trance. “Agent Schott, contact Superman. He needs to know about this.”

“Immediately, boss. I was going to suggest the same thing, because hell was going to break loose if he found out from another source.”

Winn was right. Clark was going to be mad when he found out, but it would be worse if someone else told him. He would tear the whole universe apart if something happened to Kara.

Mon-El wanted to do the same.

Alex went to a training room hours ago, and hadn’t returned yet. She must have destroyed all of the punching bags.

Not even five minutes had passed when Superman landed on the balcony. He raised his head and looked at the people around him, until his eyes connected with Mon-El’s.

Clark was in front of him in an instant, closing his hand around his throat.

“It’s your fault! It’s because of you this is happening!”

No one had ever seen Superman so angry, and there was nothing they could do. They didn’t have anything to make him stop.

Mon-El felt the air leave his lungs, as he struggled to keep his eyes open.

“Superman! Stop this right now!” J’onn commanded.

Clark’s grip loosened a little bit, but he didn’t let go. “You ruined her life! How dare you stand here, like nothing happened?”

With the grip less painful than it had been before, he took a breath to speak, his voice strangled. “I know... it’s my fault. I... made her suffer. It’s... because of me. I deserve to... die.”

Clark must’ve seen he really believed what he was saying, because he let go of his neck and looked at him for a brief moment before turning his back on him.

“Why am I finding about this now? I should’ve been told the _second_ she disappeared. I’m her family.”

He was right. They had all been so absorbed in their own worry that they didn’t bother to tell him. He deserved to be involved too.

“Sorry, Superman.” Winn looked like he wanted to hide behind a table.

“I’m going to look for her. Everywhere. I will not stop until I find her. And I hope this organization won’t stop either.” There was an underlying tone of accusation on Clark’s voice. He was clearly angry.

“I’ll go with you.” J’onn flew away with him.

Mon-El wanted to look for her, too, but he didn’t know what to do, where to start. His fear was gluing him to the ground.

He started to ponder on Kal-El’s words. He knew it was true. It was his fault that she got badly injured facing Reign, it was his fault that she fell into a mess. He did ruin her life. He broke her heart into a million pieces, never to be repaired.

And yes, he thought he deserved to die because of what he did. If she had wanted to rip his heart out and crush it, he would’ve let her without any hesitation. Because there was no greater pain than having to live with the fact that he had hurt the love of his life.

He wanted to feel something. Anything. He had been void for so long, that he wanted something to get through his skin and make him feel.

Only Kara could do that. Only her could make him feel an embrace. Only her made him feel soft. Only her made him feel loved.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He was going insane.

 

* * *

 

Twenty eight hours. Still nothing.

J’onn and Clark were still out looking for her. Winn was still trying to find something, but he was giving up. Alex had come up for a while, but then went back to where she was again.  
Mon-El just did the same thing he had been doing for hours. He sat beside Winn, his head on his hands, drowning on self-deprecation, fear and guilt.

What if they never reached her? What if she never came back? The thought made him sick. That couldn’t happen.

Kara must have felt the same despair and fear when he left Earth. Or even worse. He wished she had never gone through that.

And there it was again. His self-deprecation.

He didn’t even notice that Winn had gotten up from his chair and came back with two Monster drinks, handing one out to him.

“I know it probably won’t work for you, but the taste is good. And I think the taurine can have some effect.”

“Thank you.” His voice was hoarse and raspy from not speaking in hours, and from Clark almost chocking him.

Winn knew he didn’t want to talk. So they sat in silence, often nodding at each other, as if to acknowledge the pain.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, Mon-El prayed. He prayed to Rao for Kara’s safety. He swore that he would go back to his religion, if it meant she was going to be okay. He didn’t swear in vain.

As if on cue, an alarm went off on Winn’s computer. It signaled that Kara Zor-El was on Earth.

His heart dropped to the floor. Finally. Relief washed over him, making his fear go away.

She was okay. She wasn’t dead. She was safe.

The DEO was chaotic. Agents went back and forth, sharing the news with each other. Winn went to get Alex.

But while everyone’s world kept going, his had just stopped.

Because mere minutes after the alarm went off, Kara Zor-El landed, in all her glory.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Mon-El couldn’t even breathe.

Kara, his Kara, looked so different, as she stood in front of everyone.

Her suit was the same, while at the same time it was not. Her skirt was black, and instead of the golden belt she used to wear, it turned black too. The blue of the suit was changed to red, and the red outlines it used to have were black. Her cape was jet black, her boots red. There wasn’t a glyph on her chest. There was a symbol.

But that wasn’t the worst part. When Kara locked eyes with him, his heart almost stopped. The comets were gone. Besides wearing a mask around her eyes, her irises were crimson red, instead of the warm and soft blue. Those comets he had treasured for so long were not there.

He opened his mouth to say something. What? He didn’t know. But he was interrupted by Alex, who reached to hug Kara, tears on her eyes. Everyone was shocked at what happened next. Instead of hugging her sister, Kara took several steps away from her.

“Don’t. Don’t do that.”

Alex’s eyes widened with disbelief. “W-Why?”

Kara’s eyes turned away. “I can’t do that. I’ll explain, just wait until Guy gets here.”

There was something on her tone that made Mon-El uneasy. It was void of any emotion, just neutral. And her eyes looked as hard as stone. She carried herself with poise, looking wise beyond her years. Despite having that red and black suit, she still looked as graceful as a swan. He wanted to know what happened, but he knew better than to pressure her. She said to wait until Guy got there, but who was that?

Clark and J’onn arrived and tried to hug her too, but she backed away. The look of hurt on Clark’s face made Mon-El feel bad for him. He just stood in the background, literally and metaphorically, because that was his role on Kara’s life. A background.

Behind Kara, a red haired man landed. He wore a suit that looked like hers.

“This is Guy Gardner, the leader of the Red Lantern Corps.”

Clark looked very relieved, and extended a hand to the stranger. “Thank you for taking care of her, Guy.”

The man chuckled. “I would say it’s my pleasure, but the girl doesn’t need anyone to take care of her. She is strong and fierce all by herself.”

Mon-El felt completely out of place. Superman seemed to be friends with Gardner. And they still hadn’t explained what happened to Kara. He was very confused.

Alex must have felt the same as him, because she asked, “Are you going to tell us what happened?”

Kara sighed, looking at Guy, as if for support. He nodded in encouragement. “The ring transported me to Ysmault, the home world of the Red Lanterns. I was blinded by rage, so when Guy saw me and tried to help, I immediately attacked him. We fought, until somehow he managed to push me into the Blood Ocean. Its water controls the rage. When I started thinking clearly, I introduced myself to him, and he introduced me to the team. Guy has trained me and we’ve been having missions all over the galaxy.”

Mon-El finally decided to speak. “Wait, you haven’t told us what a Red Lantern is.”

She almost smiled. “You guys already know. I can see it in your eyes.”

“What made you like this, Kara?” Clark asked.

Oh, Rao. Wrong move. He could tell her rage was starting to surface, and her hands curled up into fists.

Nonetheless, she still kept her cool, but her voice dripped with poison. “I discovered the truth. One that I knew already, but never wanted to admit. I’ve lived a life based on lies, and the first people who lied to me technically since I was born are my parents. I’m amazed that even after their deaths, they still manage to disappoint me.” She stepped closer to Clark. “Now, let me tell you something, Kal-El. There is no pride on being a member of the noble House of El. They were not noble at all. They were just selfish, deceiving people who only thought about their own safety.”

“Kara, you don’t mean that. Yes, our family made mistakes, but it doesn’t mean they were bad.”

She laughed bitterly. “Always so hopeful. How would you know the first thing about them? I was the one who lived with them for thirteen years. There’s so many things you don’t even know about Uncle Jor-El.”

“Kara.” Guy spoke sternly, almost like a warning.

Kara adverted her eyes and sighed. “Anyway, I’m not here to fight. I did want to tell you the basics about this whole thing.”

“Sister, this isn’t you. Please come back.” Alex’s voice cracked.

But Kara didn’t waver. “Are you kidding? I’m more me than I’ve ever been. I finally get to be something else than the prototype everyone expects. I never wanted to be human, and now I sure as hell don’t want to be an El. This is who I am. I belong in the Red Lantern Corps.”

Mon-El couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had never seen Kara so... _mad_. Granted, that was the whole purpose of the ring. But aside from that, the hard look on her eyes also had a mixture of weariness. He was sure that behind that mask, there were dark circles. She wasn’t as good as she acted. And the fact that he played a part in that, that it was _his fault_ , tore at his heart and mind.

“We have to tell them about the ring.” Guy said.

“Ah, yes. My life is tethered to this ring.” She held it up. “If I take it off, I die.”

A collective gasp was heard. Out of all the things she could’ve said, no one expected that. His eyes widened. So she had to be a Red Lantern for all eternity? He felt like his heart had been crushed. It was because of him. Kara was cursed, and there was nothing he could do.

Nobody spoke, because they were stunned into silence. So Kara took over again. “Also, love is fatal for a Red Lantern. Exposure to love means death.”

And she couldn’t love. That was awful. All he had wanted since she appeared on that balcony was to hold her in his arms and never let go, and it was impossible. The worlds between them suddenly turned into galaxies.

Alex, still teary, retorted. “Kara, that’s not living. We’ll find a cure. Please, let us help you.”

He wanted to do something, so he spoke out too. “Please, Kara, let us save you.”

She turned violently towards him, her chest going up and down with her hard breathing. “Saving me?! I don’t need saving. I thought you would like that, wouldn’t you? Being free of the burden of my love? You don’t have to feel guilty anymore, and finally, you can stop looking at me with pity. I’m not in love with you anymore. You can leave with your real housewife.”

She had never been more wrong. He didn’t look at her with pity. All he had tried to do was hide his love. Her words cut deeply. He did feel guilty, because of everything, and his guilt only grew by hearing what she said. She really believed he didn’t care for her.

“Well, we have to go.” Kara turned around to leave, but Clark and Alex stopped her.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“To Ysmault. I live there, remember?”

“We’ve been worried about you for hours, and you’re just leaving like that?”

Her red eyes glowed. “NO! IT HASN’T BEEN HOURS!” She yelled with fury, but then seemed to compose herself by punching the table. It crumpled into pieces. “It’s been... a long time. If you want to talk to me, just say my name. It will summon me.”

Before anyone could say anything else, she flew away. Guy stayed behind, giving an apologetic look to them.

“I’m sorry, guys. It’s still tough for her. But she’s doing okay. I promise. I would never let anything happen to her.”

“Please, tell her to come back.” Alex pleaded.

“I’ll try.” With that, he followed the same path as Kara.

Mon-El was devastated. He could imagine what Kara was going through. She said it had been a long time, just like he did. What worried him was that she didn’t specify. It must’ve been too painful for her, maybe much more than it had been for him.

 

* * *

 

 

  
Kara flew away at maximum speed, tears threatening to escape her eyes. That had gone worse than she had imagined.

She felt Guy flying behind her, so she slowed down to let him catch up with her.

“Kara, are you okay?”

She really appreciated him. He had been her mentor, and her support when she was feeling down. She couldn’t have survived the mess without him. But she didn’t want to talk about what happened.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to talk about it, Gardner. Let’s just go home.”

“As you wish.”

They used their rings to open a portal to Ysmault, and as soon as she stepped in, she ran away towards the bar. Thankfully, there was no one inside. She poured herself a drink and sat on a stool.

When she first got there, transported by the ring, she wasn’t in control of her thoughts. Destruction and anger were the only things on her mind, she couldn’t even remember her life. Guy had found her and tried to help, but she immediately attacked him. Hal Jordan was there too, so they both defended themselves until they finally managed to throw her into the Blood Ocean. Everything became clear. She remembered her life, and the reason she transformed. Her parents’ betrayal.  
When she told them her name, they couldn’t believe it. They had wanted to call Kal-El, but she pleaded them not to. The last thing she needed was to see him. So they respected her decision. Guy introduced her to the team. They were good people, and they treated her like a friend, she finally felt like she was understood.

It took time for her to fully control her anger. Sometimes she would burst unexpectedly, breaking and burning things. Guy and Zox trained her to become better, and so she did. She was their best asset on missions.

She knew time on Earth was different. That was why she took so long to go back. And maybe she shouldn’t have. It was a catastrophe. In her mind, they would have a nice talk, they would plan the next move on Reign, and she would go back home. But it went the exact opposite way. Despite acting nonchalant, when she saw all of them, she almost paralyzed. Alex was crying, and she had looked so hurt when she stepped back from her embrace. Clark had looked so hurt, too. She really felt guilty for that. But she couldn’t do anything. J’onn and Winn’s concerned faces made her feel weird. And then there was Mon-El.

When his eyes connected with hers, she saw surprise, confusion, sadness, and something else she couldn’t point out. She quickly looked away. It had taken her so long to stop thinking about him every second, to stop feeling things for him (although she didn’t completely stop) and when she saw him, all those feelings came back to the surface. She couldn’t handle it. She could feel the ring pulling for her to go back to the rage. That was why she got out of control. She didn’t mean to explode on their faces, but her conflicted emotions got the best of her.

When Guy told her love was fatal for Red Lanterns, she felt devastated, and not exactly for herself, but for the people around her. Alex, Kal-El, Winn, and J’onn would get hurt by her distance. She felt guilty for that. They didn’t deserve it.

And Rao, she thought Mon-El would finally be free to go. She knew his pity was anchoring him to the present. But there was pain in his eyes when she told him that. Was it because of her? Or did something happen to him? She told him she wasn’t in love with him anymore, and getting those words out of her mouth made her feel a pang on her now useless heart. She knew it wasn’t true, she just wanted to convince herself.

There was no way, in any universe, that she could stop loving him. But she couldn’t feel love. She would die. She taught herself to push her feelings down until they became numb for a long time, but when she saw her friends, her family, the barriers crumbled. And she had to build them up again.

When she stopped Reign, she wouldn’t go back to Earth again, unless it was completely necessary. It was for the best. They all needed to heal, and forget.

For them, it was a fresh, raw wound. But for her it was an old wound that still hurt from time to time. She hadn’t wanted to tell them how long it had actually been, because then they would feel pity. She despised pity.

She learned how to open up to her team over time, and they became her family. She would forever be grateful for that.

She had spent sleepless nights regretting everything, but Guy always managed to make her better. He understood her pain.

_Kara._

Oh, no. There was someone calling her name. And she knew that voice very well. The voice of the person she didn’t want to see.

_Kara Zor-El. I summon thee._

God damn it. She braced herself for what would happen. The ring took her to.... her loft? She looked up.

Sure enough, he was there, sitting on the couch.

Mon-El.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally got the ‘summoning’ idea out of OUAT’s Dark One. That’s not really canon.


	4. Chapter 4

Kara knew that if her heart wasn’t useless, it would’ve been racing.

She didn’t know what to do. Mon-El had called her immediately after the chaos at the DEO, so she hadn’t even gotten the chance to be prepared. Still, the power of the ring helped her to act nonchalant.

“You didn’t take long to call me, huh?” She sat opposite to him on the couch.

He fidgeted with the necklace on his neck. “Yeah, uh, I just took a few seconds to fly here.”

The necklace. _Her necklace_. It was hers, and yet he refused to give it back, despite not needing it anymore. That made her feel angry. Although her mother gave her the necklace, right? And she turned out to be a liar. That made her feel even more angry.

“What is it you want from me?” She asked bitterly.

He didn’t seem to mind her tone. “I just wanted to know how you were doing, after what happened. And I didn’t get the chance to talk to you, like really talk to you.”

Wasn’t it clear that she was doing just fine? And what the hell did he want to talk about? She thought she had made herself clear back there.

“I hardly see why this is an important matter. Besides, why do you care? I’m not your problem anymore, or anyone else’s.”

She saw something flash on his eyes. “I do care. I want to ask you something.”

She was beginning to lose her patience. Seriously, did he have to do everything step by step? “Then ask me. Stop running in circles.”

“Why did you transform? Was it only because of your parents? Or was it because of me?” He stared at the table while he asked, so she didn’t get to see his expression.

Her anger was about to burst, and Mon-El was going to get caught in the chaos. He didn’t have the right to ask that, it was none of his business. Besides, if she said that yes, it was his fault, what would she gain from it? Well, if he cared at least a little bit, he would feel guilty. Maybe she could get some revenge. But she would also get those pity looks from him. And that wasn’t an option.

He seemed to understand her discomfort, because he spoke again. “Don’t... answer if you don’t want to. Look, I haven’t been completely honest with you, and that’s not good. I want to tell you the truth.”

Great, another liar. Just what she needed. She couldn’t believe that after everything they had gone through, he still chose to lie to her. She felt the fire of rage building up inside of her, begging for her to finally explode.

“Are you kidding me? After all that’s happened, you lied to me? You know how I feel about lies. Hell, lies are what led me to this in the first place. Tell me, Mr. I will never lie to you again, what are you hiding from me now?”

He looked down at his hands. “I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t lie to hide something from you, but from myself. I thought that if I told you, it would be more real. And my feelings would be more real.”

She suddenly felt interest. What did he mean?

He took a deep breath and continued. “My marriage to Imra isn’t exactly what it seems. Her family ruled a faction between worlds, and to keep the peace, I had to marry her, while I was still mourning you.”

Oh, she didn’t expect that. She had thought he had completely forgotten about her and got married instantly. At least he did care for her at some point.

Alas, she still couldn’t help her rage. “Thank you for telling me the truth. But, pardon me for my rudeness, why is this relevant?”

Because no matter how much she would’ve wanted it if she was still normal, his statement didn’t change anything. They still were stuck in the same situation.

“I just wanted to be honest with you. Lying is never good.”

There he was, making up for his mistakes. And she was being extremely rude and unfair to him. She sighed. “Listen, I’m sorry for being harsh. I do appreciate the truth. And... I noticed something was bothering you back there at the DEO. If something happened, you can tell me. I’ll listen.”

He offered her a small smile. “Thank you, Kara. I promise I’ll tell you, but I don’t really want to talk about it now. Instead, why don’t you tell me how you’re doing? How is it like, being on a team?”

She noticed the look of hurt on his eyes, but decided not to push it. He clearly wasn’t ready to talk. “Everything’s great. The team is great. It’s like being on a big family.”

Except for when she got her tremendous mood swings, like at that moment.

He looked away. “You said it’s been a long time. If you’re here, how long will you have been gone when you go back?”

“That’s not a problem. Magic is weird. You summoned me, so I can go back to the exact place and time I left.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, it is weird. What about the suit? You can’t take it off?”

She raised her eyebrow. “What are you suggesting?”

His eyes widened as he realized what he said, and his face flustered. “I— I didn’t mean...”

“Relax, I’m just teasing you. And no, I can’t take it off. That’s one of the reasons I don’t live on Earth.”

The other reason was that she didn’t want to be close to the people she used to care about. But she couldn’t tell him that.

_Love is weakness, Kara._

Sometimes, she spent nights alone wandering, thinking about her new reality would affect the people around her. There was nothing she could do to prevent them from suffering. And herself.

She found a family in the Corps. A good one. They filled the hole inside of her.

But sometimes she couldn’t help but think it wasn’t enough.

Mon-El laughed nervously at her taunt. “Oh, yeah.”

“Well, I could make people see me with another appearance, but it takes a lot of energy.”

“I understand. Hey, maybe you should eat something, while you’re here. I’m sure you have potstickers somewhere.”

She furrowed her brows. “Wait... potstickers? What is that?”

He looked as confused as she felt. “Um, yes. Your favorite food?”

 _Oh_. She didn’t remember that. Over time, her mind started blocking out memories, as a way of coping. The memories were usually small things, like how she used to like her coffee, or what she ordered when she hung out with her friends.

She had to really think about it to remember. But most of the times she didn’t, it was better that way. It helped her to stop missing Earth.

She never stopped entirely.

Damn it, Mon-El was giving her that look. The same look he gave her when he introduced his wife. He felt sorry for her.

Her eyes glowed. “Can you stop looking at me like that? I’m sick of it. Stop, because I’m going to make you regret it.”

He shifted at her threat. “Looking at you like what?”

Rao, he asked so many questions. She was done playing games. “Like I’m a helpless love sick puppy.”

“I’m not... Kara, I’m just worried. How long has it been? Please, tell me.” His plea almost made her falter.

She got up from the couch, ready to flee. “Mon-El, I’ll tell you one last time. Stop. It’s not your business.”

He got up too, apparently feeling bold. “Yeah? What about Alex? Clark? Winn? J’onn? They miss you, Kara. Can’t you at least try to talk to them?”

_Boom._

She swung a fist to his face, leaving him on the floor, with the Red Lantern symbol implanted on his cheek. “Don’t you dare tell me what to do. This discussion is over. Don’t call me again, unless it’s about Reign.”

He took a few seconds to recover, and got up, cleaning the blood with his hand. “Kara, please...”

“No. I’m done.”

She had to recharge her ring, so she recited the oath looking him directly on the eye, her expression as hard as stone.

 _“The power of the crimson red,_  
Can lead your soul away from dread,  
And heal the deepest wounds of hate.  
Let no one else decide your fate.”

She left him there, never looking back.

 

* * *

 

 

  
Kara felt like hell. It was going so well, until he decided to mess it up.

She went back to her drink at the bar, draining it in one go.

Well, she knew it wasn’t entirely his fault. Her emotions got the best of her, which was something that wasn’t supposed to happen. She was supposed to have it under control, and she thought she had, until she went back to Earth. What a huge mistake.

It would’ve been better if she had just stayed on her lane. She just needed to defeat Reign and go back home. But no. She had to listen to Guy’s advice, and confront them. They deserve to know what happened, Guy said. But what he didn’t know was that it would turn out to be awful. If she hadn’t done anything, they would’ve gotten over it. People always got over things.

She knew Alex would eventually move on. Yes, it would take her time, and Kara felt horrible for that, but she was strong. She would move on.

Winn had James to rely on. He wouldn’t be completely alone. James would always be there for him.

J’onn was a professional. He wouldn’t let feelings to take over him, and he had Alex. They would be alright.

Then there was Kal-El. She knew he would never give up on her entirely. He would go across galaxies and universes to take that ring off of her. Her grandpa Seg-El used to say that the blood of the House of El would always bind them together, and though she hated to admit it, he was right. They would always be connected, no matter what.

Mon-El. Her thoughts always went back to him. Would he miss her? He had already moved on once, he probably didn’t need to do it again. He would go back home. And she had to act like it didn’t hurt.

And she was just so angry. At everyone. It took all of the willpower she had left to stop her from lashing out completely. She knew her mood swings were a huge issue. But she couldn’t stop them. Besides, not being angry would separate the ring from her, which caused death. No way.

She was interrupted by Zox clearing his throat beside her.

“Zox! Hey, what are you doing here?”

“Just checking on you, girl. You’ve been here for hours. How are you doing?”

She had no energy to lie. “I’ve seen better days.”

He smiled sympathetically. “I know. Hold on, Kara. It will get better. Hey, wanna take my duty?”

She laughed. He always asked that, to distract her, and she always accepted. “Fine. Where am I going?”

“Oa. You have to talk business with Greens.”

“Wait what? Oa? No. I take it back. You can go.”

“Why don’t you want to?”

“Because it makes me uneasy. I don’t know, it reminds me of Krypton.”

“Come on, cheer up. It’s better if you go. Hal Jordan likes your company, not mine.” He winked.

“What are you saying?”

“All I’m saying that sometimes you’re too oblivious for such a smart girl. And you should get going now.”

She held her hands up in defeat, walking backwards towards the exit. “Fine, fine. I’ll go. But you so owe me.”

“I always do.”

 

* * *

 

 

As she landed on the Citadel, Hal rushed forward to meet her, with a surprised smile on his face.

“Kara Zor-El, it’s always a pleasure to see you.” He kissed her hand.

She smirked. “Hal Jordan. I must say I’m glad I came here.”

Ah, he was flirting with her. And she flirted back. Well, she could use a distraction, a very cute one.

“Let’s go somewhere we can talk in private.”

So, as they talked about duties and strategies, she couldn’t help but stare at him. The man was in really good shape. And those green eyes were amazing. She felt attracted, and she was going to act on it. What was more fun than a meaningless fling?

To be honest, she didn’t know where she was. But it was a nice place, and they were all by themselves. Good.

“You know, Kara,” he moved closer to her, “there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you.”

“Oh, yeah?” She moved closer too, and looked at him through her lashes. “What is it?”

He licked his lips and stared at hers. “I’m attracted to you.”

“That’s good.” She repeated his actions. “Because I’m attracted to you too.”

After a moment of intensely staring at each other, they met halfway in a rough, hard kiss. His tongue thrusted into her mouth, battling against hers. Her hands went to grip at his hair, while he explored her body. A whimper escaped her mouth as his fingers trailed down her neck.

She nibbled his lower lip, making him groan, as he drove her backwards until her back hit... a couch? She was sure that hadn’t been there before. She laid down on it as Hal climbed on top of her, moving his lips to her neck. Kara was pleased to see his outfit had changed, and her hands went down to lift his shirt, massaging his abdomen. She concentrated her energy on changing her appearance, too, her suit changing into regular clothes.

She moaned when he licked and nibbled at her earlobe, digging her nails onto his back. When he moved back to her neck, she grabbed his head and took him into another heated kiss, as he lifted her shirt up to her chest, his hands warming up her body.

_Kara Zor-El._

She didn’t hear the summoning of her name. She didn’t notice the transportation. They kept kissing, until Kara felt the constructed couch vanish, and her back hit the floor.

She opened her eyes, her arms and legs still tangled around Hal. “What the hell happened?”

She looked around her.

They were at the DEO. Alex, Winn, J’onn, Mon-El, and every single agent stared at them bewildered.

_OH MY GOD._

 


	5. Chapter 5

Kara would’ve felt ashamed if she wasn’t a Red Lantern.

But since she was, the only thing she felt was anger at being interrupted. Still, her neck, ears and cheeks were tinted red.

Hal rolled off of her, and she got up, pulling down the shirt that had been rolled up to her chest. Hal wasn’t the type to get embarrassed either, but he fixed his shirt and hair without making eye contact with anyone.

She knew her hair was disheveled, but she couldn’t care less at that moment. She wanted to find out why they had called her when she was doing something important.

Alex cleared her throat, breaking the awkward silence. “Are we, uh, interrupting something?”

Kara, over her time with the Corps, learned to talk without a filter. So she responded honestly. “Yes. Why did you call me? Did something happen?”

Mon-El answered, his voice a little hoarse. “We found out critical information about Reign.”

Her non-functioning heart skipped a beat. “What is it?”

J’onn spoke up, looking at her cautiously. “Kara, you’re not going to like—“

“What. Is. It?” She interrupted him.

Winn stepped in, seeming to be the only one who was brave enough to tell her whatever the information was. “Reign is Sam Arias.”

Her breathing hitched. A weird sensation washed over her, but it was quickly replaced by dread and rage.

“She lied to me?” Kara whispered to herself, but Mon-El heard.

“No, Kara, she didn’t. Sam doesn’t know about Reign. Lena found out, but Reign disappeared and hasn’t been spotted.”

She could almost laugh at the irony. “Wow, Lena found out. That’s a shocker. But I can’t do anything about Sam being Reign. I still have to defeat her, by any means possible.”

“We can find a way to separate them. Sam doesn’t deserve this.” Alex said.

She knew she was being harsh, but she couldn’t stop herself. “That’s not possible. How long is it going to take? Reign will kill thousands while you find a cure.” She turned to J’onn. “What do you think?”

“Kara is right.” He stated, holding a hand up to stop Alex’s protests. “We can’t just sit around and watch her wreak havoc until you find a cure. But you can look for it.”

“Alex, Winn, and I will work on it.” Mon-El said, while the other two nodded.

“Kara,” Hal spoke for the first time since they arrived, “I think I know how to separate them.”

“You do?” She looked at him. “What is it?”

“Black Kryptonite.”

She frowned. “I’ve never heard of it.”

“That’s because it’s not common knowledge. Very few people know about it. It’s a type of kryptonite that has the power to split a Kryptonian being into two. But I don’t know how it’s made.”

“Do you know where to find some information about it?” Alex asked.

“It’s hard to find. But I think you could find some information about it in the Fortress, Kara. And maybe on Oa.”

“Excellent.” Kara changed back into her suit. “Hal and I are going to the Fortress. I’ll come back and tell you guys what happened. Agreed?”

“Agreed. Winn, Alex, get back to work.” J’onn said.

Mon-El approached her and Hal, almost hesitant.

“Hey, Mon-El.” She was still resentful about their encounter, but she was in control of herself. She wouldn’t be rude.

“Hey, Kara. Listen, I’m really sorry about what happened, I shouldn’t have—“

“It’s okay.” She intervened. “There’s no need to apologize.”

If she was being honest, hearing him say “I’m sorry” so many times was getting tiring. She almost smirked at the symbol still implanted on his cheek, where she had hit him.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

Her stomach dropped. If he came, that would mean she would spend more time with him. More time with him meant feelings resurfacing. Feelings resurfacing meant love. Love meant death.

“Forget him.” Her mind seemed to whisper.

“No, it’s okay. You can stay here. Hal and I are going to make a quick stop at my loft anyway.”

Hal smirked mischievously at her, and she couldn’t help but return the smirk.

Mon-El seemed disappointed. “Oh, okay.”

“Bye, Mon-El. I’ll see you around.”

She flew away, Hal following behind her. He placed a kiss on her neck, firing up her desire.

Oh, yes. Kara was ready to finish what she started.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Mon-El’s heart had shattered into a million pieces.

Seeing Kara with that man made him feel like all of the air had been sucked out of his body. It felt like he’d been thrown into an endless void.

He knew he didn’t have any right to be upset. Of course he didn’t, he brought it upon himself. But he still felt that way. He couldn’t help it. Kara was the love of his life, and seeing her with another man made him feel emotions he hadn’t felt in seven years.

But he knew she couldn’t love, so their relationship must’ve been physical. It didn’t make him feel any better, though. He was still jealous.

He offered to go with them out of jealousy. Because he couldn’t bear the thought of Kara and another man. But she immediately refused. They were going to her apartment. Rao knew what was happening there.

Kara deserved to move on. She deserved everything good in the world. He shouldn’t have been upset.

The pang on his heart grew more painful.

He would go mad if he just sat around and waited for her to return. He needed to do something.

He thought about going to the Legion ship. He hadn’t been there since Imra revealed her plan, which he had no idea about. He’d been betrayed by her, by his friends. He was still shocked that they didn’t tell him they could time travel. He could’ve gotten back to Kara. But they kept it a secret from him. And they went back to save her sister, or at least that was what Imra said. He wasn’t sure whether to believe her or not, since he’d never heard she had a sister. Maybe that was another thing she kept hidden from him. He had been willing to ignore his feelings for Kara, because he made a promise to Imra, but she had broken that promise years ago, unbeknownst to him. He didn’t even want to look her in the eyes.

Yes, he loved Imra, but it wasn’t that big, passionate love that he would shout from the rooftops. He grew to love her, over time. He was content.

_But content doesn’t mean happy._

He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to hurt Imra. But hadn’t she seen him suffer, for so many years?

He also had a team. He couldn’t just think about himself. What if they didn’t know about the plan either?

And if he broke things off with his ‘wife’, hell would break loose on Earth. There wouldn’t be any union. A planetary war would start.

He sighed and made his way to the ship, hoping for the best.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kara woke up on her bed for the first time in what felt like forever, Hal beside her.

She had decided to take a nap before going to the Fortress. She would never say it out loud, but sex with Hal Jordan was amazing. Honestly. It had been mind blowing.

She was glad that there were no ties between them, just attraction. She never wanted to be in a relationship again. Not only because she didn’t want to die.

But because she could never replace _him_.

Fooling around was fun. It distracted her from her daily routine.

She transformed back into her suit, giving Hal a kiss on the neck to wake him up.

“Hmh?” He stretched his arms.

“We have to go. We need to get the information.”

“Ugh.”

“I know. But come on, it’s important.”

He got up and changed into his suit too. “Alright, let’s explore.”

 

Inside the Fortress, Kara put her palm on the monitor, and Kalex appeared in front of her.

“Kara Zor-El.”

“Hey, Kalex.”

“How can I be of assistance?”

“Tell me what you know about Black Kryptonite.”

“Black Kryptonite is a form of refined Kryptonite that can separate the personalities of a single being into two separate beings.” The robot recited.

“How do I find it?”

“This Kryptonite is created by heating green kryptonite to extremely high temperatures.”

“Well, that was easy.” Hal said.

“I don’t know if it is. Let’s go back to the DEO.”

 

* * *

 

 

  
Mon-El went back to the DEO after talking to Imra. He let her explain everything first, before jumping at her throat.

She said that a Worldkiller, Pestilence, was the worst villain in the history of the universe. She was the strongest. It took Supergirl a lot to defeat her. But she hadn’t been really defeated. While everyone thought her dead, she had survived, rescued by a follower, and taken to their temple. She was placed in stasis, until someone in the future could wake her up to cure her severe wounds. And someone did. In the 31st century, years before he arrived. She killed a lot of people, including Imra’s sister. She was behind the Blight. Imra and Brainy planned to go back to where Pestilence first started, the 21st century, to prevent her from surviving her encounter with Kara. To prevent her from ruining the future.

It took him a lot to process what Imra had said. He was still mad that they didn’t tell him. But he would have refused in an instant if they had told him. He understood why they didn’t. And Imra had been so sad while she told him everything. He couldn’t stay mad. He couldn’t leave her.

He hugged her, and assured her that everything would be fine. That they would succeed in the mission.  
  
What Mon-El didn’t know, though, was that she was hiding a bigger secret from him. One that could tear his heart and soul apart.

 

* * *

 

 

  
Kara landed swiftly on the DEO balcony, making her entrance.

“I’m back!”

“Hey, Kara. I’m calling Alex and J’onn.” Winn said.

Mon-El sat on Winn’s desk, waving at her.

She felt ( _nothing, you felt nothing_ ) as she waved back.

Alex and J’onn entered the room, and Hal finally arrived.

“You’re slow.” She teased.

“I am not. You’re just very fast.”

“I absolutely agree. Anyway,” she turned her attention to the group, “we went to the Fortress. Black Kryptonite is obtained by exposing the normal Kryptonite to extremely hot temperatures.”

Everyone looked shocked that she had found the information so quickly. To be honest, she was surprised too.

“We have enough Kryptonite for the three Worlkillers. The problem would be the extreme temperatures. We can’t do an experiment like that on the city.” J’onn said.

“What if we do it on outer space?” Hal joined in. “Maybe get it close enough to the sun?”

“That’s a great idea. But it’s not possible. The only one who can actually enter the sun and not get hurt is me, and if I do I will probably get split into two by the Kryptonite.”

“Maybe I can.” Mon-El offered.

No. No. No. She locked eyes with Winn, silently pleading him to come up with something. He nodded subtly.

“Maybe I can find a way to do that in here. I mean, the cells are unbreakable, aren’t they? We could put the Kryptonite in there and rise the temperature until they change. And since Mon-El wouldn’t be harmed by the temperature, he could take it out. Then we should make it an injection, so Kara can use it against them without harming herself.”

“Great idea, Agent Schott. Work on it with Alex. Kara, after you split them, you’re still going to have to fight their counterparts. So, train with Mon-El.” J’onn dismissed them.

Oh no. She had to train with Mon-El. The oxygen left her body.

She wouldn’t be able to control herself if she sparred with him. She couldn’t feel love, but she certainly felt lust. And she lusted for him. Strongly.

Kara then remembered she didn’t work for them anymore. She could just walk away. But what J’onn had said was true. She needed to practice. Maybe if Hal....

“Hey, Kara.” The alluded snapped her away from her thoughts. “I have to go back to Oa. They need me there.”

“Oh.” Well, there went her hopes of not having to spar with Mon-El. “Okay, I’ll see you later.”

“Call me if you need anything.” He kissed her cheek and flew away.

“Kara,” Mon-El called, “are you coming?”

“Yeah. Wait a second.”

  
_Rao, give me strength._


	6. Chapter 6

Kara stood in the middle of the training room, waiting for Mon-El to do something.

She got a hold of herself and followed him there, but he was consumed on his own thoughts, or whatever, and hadn’t started the actual training part.

She examined his features. His eyebrows were knit together, almost like he was concerned, but his eyes were still neutral. She could see his hands fidgeting behind his back. His heartbeat was going faster than normal.

She smirked. He was probably nervous. And who wouldn’t be? She was the Champion of Earth. A sane person wouldn’t want to fight her.

“Are you nervous?” She teased Mon-El.

He blinked rapidly. “Me? Why would you say that?”

She stepped closer. “I can hear your heartbeat. I can see your hands fidgeting behind your back. I can hear you swallow. I can see your blood running fast through your veins.” Another smirk. “What are you so afraid of? I’ll try to go easy on you.”

He chuckled. “What are you talking about? I have been doing this for seven years, more than you.”

“Oh, believe me, that’s not even—“ She paused when he raised his eyebrows. “Whatever.”

“What’s going on between you and the Green Lantern?”

“What’s going on between us? Nothing.”

“Oh, so now you say ‘us’.” There was a hint of annoyance on Mon-El’s voice.

She rolled her eyes. “It’s a manner of speaking. And we share a bed, that’s all.”

He looked away from her.

“Anyway, I’m done discussing this. Let’s go.”

Mon-El put himself in position, so she started by trying to land a blow on his ribs. He blocked quickly, aiming back at her. She stopped his fist with her hand, and twisted his arm, but he turned it back, making her stumble.

She successfully landed a kick on his side, but he quickly recovered and threw a fist at her, making her duck out of the way.

She had to admit, he was really good.

He pushed her to a wall, his forearm pressing her throat.

“Surrender already?” He smirked.

“Never.” In a swift movement, her leg wrapped around one of his, turning his body so he ended up against the wall. Her hands moved to grab his, and hold them over his head.

She suddenly noticed how close they were. She was practically straddling him, her leg still wrapped around his. Their chests were touching, going up and down with raged breaths. The lower part of her abdomen had lit up with heat, and she was sure her red eyes had turned into the color of wine.

_Lust._

She noticed his eyes had turned into an stormy grey, and his pupils were huge. There was also a bulge touching her thigh. A groan almost made its way out of her mouth.

Oh, Rao. How she wished she could ravish him. She wished she could give him pleasure, make him moan, make him beg for her.

But she couldn’t. Instead, she pinned him against the floor, holding him in a headlock.

“Here’s a little secret.” She whispered behind his ear. “I always win.”

Kara pulled away from him and made her way out. She couldn’t handle it any longer. She was too hot and bothered.

She needed to get a cold shower. Or call Hal Jordan. Immediately.

 

* * *

 

 

  
Kara had left him on the floor, astonished.

Mon-El couldn’t process what had just happened between them. First of all, she had answered his question about Green Lantern so nonchalantly, with no shame, that the dormant jealousy inside of him had been rudely woken up.

 _“We share a bed, that’s all.”_ Those words still rang on his ears. And the fact that they had shared the bed on her apartment, made him want to destroy that guy’s face.

Then, he’d been so distracted, so absorbed on his jealousy, that Kara managed to defeat him in mere minutes. And the way she held him against the wall, Gods, it took all of his willpower to stop himself from devouring her mouth and making her his.

_You don’t have any right to be jealous. You don’t have any right to desire her. You’re married. You have a wife._

Yes. He had to stop. He would never cheat on Imra.

But his whole body kept pulsating and irradiating heat. And his throat was dry.

He super sped to the DEO showers, opening the water in the coldest temperature possible. He stepped inside, soaking himself, his forehead and hands resting against the wall.

He closed his eyes. Keeping his distance from her hadn’t worked. He was drawn to her, like a moth to a flame. No matter how much he tried not to, he kept gravitating towards her.

But what could he do? Leaving wasn’t an option. He promised Imra they would succeed on the mission. He had to stay until they made sure Pestilence died for good on her fight with Kara.

Would splitting her into two make Pestilence more powerful? Or more vulnerable? He knew Kara would be more than able to handle her. She was the Champion of Earth. The most powerful being in the universe. He had no doubt about it.

Also, leaving while Kara was not herself would hang over his conscience forever. It was his fault. He made her like that.

He felt so guilty. Clark was right. He brought it upon her. The rage. The hatred.

There was a war raging inside of him. And he didn’t know what the outcome would be.

He didn’t know how to feel. How to act. But one thing was for certain.

He still loved Kara Zor-El.

Mon-El knew it was wrong to be with Imra while he was in love with someone else. It wasn’t fair. But neither was the fact that if they broke that arrangement, millions of lives would be at stake. He wouldn’t be the reason why people suffered. He’d rather suffer alone, away from Kara.

Even if, deep down, he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay.

 

* * *

 

 

Kara looked at the man sleeping quietly beside her.

He was very handsome, if she had to be honest. His arms and legs were perfectly muscled. Not to mention his abs, which were to die for. And his face looked like it had been carved by the Greek Gods themselves.

She was attracted to him, obviously, he was hot. And they had chemistry.

It was just sex for her. It would never be anything else. What worried her was his feelings. She didn’t want things to get awkward.

She was playing with fire, but it was so good.

Hal moved, as if he knew he was being watched.

“Mmh.” He stretched, and opened his eyes. “Hey, Kara.”

“Hey yourself.” She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair.

“Did you sleep?” He asked, concerned.

“Not really.”

She almost never slept. Yes, sometimes, she took naps, but they lasted approximately twenty minutes. There were many things that kept her up at night. And nightmares. Lots of them.

Hal sighed, wrapping his arms around her. “There’s something bothering you. You can talk to me.”

Kara trusted him. He had given her advice when she first became a Red Lantern, he had supported her. She knew she could talk to him about anything.

“I— uh, I’m worried about Alex. I don’t want her to be upset. But I can’t be around her for a long time, you know why. And I know I shouldn’t care about these things, but there’s still a part of me that does. Am I going to die? I don’t know if I actually have it in me to keep this rage all the time. I don’t want to die, not while I still have to stop Reign. I can’t leave the world alone.”

“Hey, hey.” He caressed her cheek. “You’re going to be okay. You’re not going to die. Kara, you have been so strong. I’ve never seen anyone who could control their rage as well as you do. You’re amazing. And about Alex... you can talk to her. I assure you, nothing’s going to happen. I’m sure she’ll understand you.”

She wasn’t so sure. Alex had been very understanding on many occasions, but sometimes, well, that wasn’t the case. And she didn’t want Alex to hate her even more than she probably already did.

But eventually, talking to her would be inevitable. She had to be ready.

“I’ll try.” She sighed. “At least I haven’t gone full wrath mode on them.”

He laughed. “You never do that. The only time I’ve seen you on ‘full wrath mode’ is when you’re in battle. Seriously, that’s amazing. Not everyone can contain that kind of rage. Much less balance it. That takes a lot of strength and power. I think you would be fine, if you let yourself be with Alex, and Clark.”

“Thank you. I’m still not so convinced, though. We’ll see.”

He kissed her shoulder, and looked back at her. “Think about this. When you defeat the Worldkillers, if you go back to Ysmault and never see your family and friends again, would you regret not spending time with them?”

She held her breath. She hadn’t thought about that. Yes, she knew she was too stubborn to go back to Earth to visit them when she left, but she hadn’t considered regret. She had barely acknowledged Alex on the time she had spent at the DEO, much less Clark. The only time she saw him all she did was tell him how awful his family was. A family he never got the chance to meet.

Regret came in waves. She shouldn’t have said that. She should have been sensitive. It was hard to hear something horrible about your dead parents.

But was he sensitive when he told you your planet was dead?

No. She needed to stop those thoughts. It was probably the ring, trying to lure her into rage. She wouldn’t give in.

Kara, after going back to Earth, had begun feeling tired. The battle between rage and tranquility inside of her was taking its toll. It never had before. Maybe because she hadn’t felt true, real love in a long time. Being around Mon-El and her friends made those old emotions stir up.

Her connection to the ring was breaking, very slowly. She couldn’t... she couldn’t die. Not before she stopped Reign. Not before she saved Earth. She wasn’t afraid of death, she had signed up for it the day she became a hero.

She was afraid of dying in vain.

She wouldn’t see them again, after everything was done. They would become a faint memory. And Rao, she would regret not talking to them at least once before she was gone.

So, after a long while, she answered Hal’s question. “Yes. I would.”

He smiled. “Then go. Right now. Talk to Alex.”

“Now? But I’m not just going to leave you alone in my apartment.”

“Yes, now. There’s no time like the present. And I don’t mind being alone, Kara.”

She grinned. “Thank you.”

“Go!”

She flew out of the window, already dressed. She just hoped Alex would listen.

 

  
Kara tapped the glass on the DEO’s lab, nervously waiting for Alex to look up.

Her sister looked up with her eyes blown wide. “Kara...” she whispered, like she couldn’t believe she had actually come to see her.

“Hey.”

Alex changed her expression, putting on a neutral face. “Why are you here? The Kryptonite isn’t ready yet.”

“I came here to apologize.” She took a deep breath.

Alex’s eyebrows shot up. “What for?”

“I’m sorry I have been ignoring you. I’m sorry I blew up on all of you. I’m sorry I barely explained why I couldn’t get close to you. I’m sorry I rejected you. I realized that I acted very, very wrongly. I don’t want to regret not talking to you when I had the chance.”

Alex’s eyes watered, but she stood still, apparently paralyzed.

Was she mad? Kara was already starting to get insecure.

She kept talking. “It’s okay if you’re angry. I get it. I’ll just... get out of your hair.”

When she turned to leave, Alex grabbed her arm. “Don’t go.”

Tears streamed down Alex’s face. “Kara, I’m not mad at you. Of course I’m not. I just wish you hadn’t pushed me away. I only wanted to help you.”

“I know you did. I’m sorry.” She felt a tightening in her chest, but didn’t pay attention to it.

“It’s okay. I’m always going to be here for you, whether you like it or not.”

She was the one who broke the barrier between them. She embraced her older sister in a hug, almost crying too.

“I love you, Kara.”

Suddenly, she felt a painful pang on her chest. “AH!”

Alex pulled away from her, alarmed. “What happened?!”

“Nothing. I’m fine. I just bit my tongue.”

Alex eyed her suspiciously. “Sure. You know you can talk to me, right?”

“I know.”

“Alex, the Kryptonite is ready.” Winn called from the comms.

“Let’s go. You’re gonna save the world, little sister.”

 

“Okay team, we have the black Kryptonite.” J’onn clapped his hands together. “We just have to wait for Reign.”

“Wait, what?” Kara intervened. “I’m just going to sit around until new Hitler decides to show her face?”

“We don’t have any intel on her location. I can’t send anyone out without information.”

“But I can find her. And Purity.”

“You would probably jeopardize the operation.”

She started getting angry. “Are you kidding me? I don’t work here anymore. I can do whatever I want.”

“Yes, you can.” His voice was stern. “But the Kryptonite is here. And it will not be used until I say so.”

She opened her mouth to retort angrily, but Alex shot her a look.

Right. She wasn’t looking for a fight. She had to control her anger.

“Hey, Kara, you can talk to Winn and I in the mean time. You know, catch up.”

She curled her hands into fists. “Yeah, sure. Just let me talk to Hal.”

“Where is he?”

“He’s at my apartment.” Well, her bluntness was still intact.

“Why don’t we go there? You know, we didn’t get the chance to really meet him.”

“Are you sure? What if Reign attacks?”

“We come back. You have super speed, you can fly us or run us here in a few seconds. J’onn, can we leave?”

“Yes, yes. Agent Schott, Agent Danvers, you’re dismissed.”

“Hey, are we bringing Mon-El with us?” Alex asked.

She had already seen him once that day, did she really have to talk to him again? God damn it. It was getting tiring.

“He said he was going to go somewhere with Imra.” Winn answered.

She pretended it didn’t hurt at all.

 

  
It wasn’t awkward. Winn and Alex talked freely to Hal, laughing whenever he made a joke.

It was nice. Hal was such a good friend. She just hoped they would still be friends after whatever they had came to an end. Because it eventually would.

“Hey, Kara, I never thought I would say this to anyone but, those red eyes look really good on you.” Winn pointed out.

She smiled. “Why, thank you.”

“And I never thought I would say this, but that mask actually really suits you.” Alex added.

“You have to see her in battle.” Hal joined in. “She’s the best fighter in any of the Corps.”

Her cheeks faintly turned red. “Wow, what is this? The day to praise Kara?”

“We’re telling the truth.” Winn said. “And we should treat you to your favorite ice cream.”

“My favorite... ice cream?” Her memory was failing her again. She had no clue what her favorite ice cream was.

“Rocky Road?” Alex looked at her worriedly.

“Oh, yeah. That.” She still didn’t remember.

They didn’t know it had been too long for her. Long enough to forget some things.

And they didn’t have to know. It would stay that way.

Suddenly, a loud alarm went off on Winn’s phone. “It’s Reign.”

Kara didn’t have to be told twice. In milliseconds, she took Winn and Alex to their position at the DEO. Hal followed after her.

“Hey, I’m going to help you.”

She smiled weakly, thanking him with her eyes.

“I’m going to attack her until she’s weak enough to inject the Black Kryptonite on her.” She announced her plan. “Winn, you told me it’s not going to affect me?”

“Indeed. It will only affect the person it is injected to. But you should take someone with you, to hold the injections, just in case. They’ll give it to you when it’s time.”

“I can go.” Mon-El immediately volunteered.

No. No. No way. She wouldn’t let him get hurt because of her, again. There was no way she was going to let him risk his life.

“Jordan, can you go with me?” She asked instead, catching a glimpse of disappointment on Mon-El’s eyes.

“Of course.”

“Mon-El, you’re on the backup team.” J’onn stated. “Alright, you can move out.”

She made her way to the balcony, ready to fly away

“Wait!” Alex ran after her. “What are you going to do? After you separate them?”

“I’m going to kill her.”

Alex’s eyes widened.

“It’s the only way. This planet will live. And I will _pummel_ anyone who says otherwise.”

 

 

 

Reign was just waiting for her on the water front, hovering above the water. She seemed to recognize her on sight.

“Kara Zor-El. Never thought you would change your stupid attire.”

“Enough with the chit chat. Let’s end this.”

“Kara!” Hal called from behind her. “Remember you’re not just Kryptonian.”

She understood immediately. It would take her a lot to defeat Reign. She couldn’t just use her Kryptonian powers. She had to use her Red Lantern powers.

She sped towards Reign, ready to throw a punch to her face, and surprisingly landed it. She didn’t expect that.

Reign punched back, but Kara ducked out of the way, looking for a way to neutralize her. She couldn’t hurt her yet. Not until Sam was out.

If she was Kryptonian, wouldn’t she drown on water too? She had to try.

She pushed Reign down with all her might, to the bottom of the ocean. She didn’t have many minutes until she started to drown too. She had to do something fast.

Kara closed her hand on Reign’s throat, while the bioengineered woman had her mouth open, swallowing water.

It was different than before. The last time, she had been so emotionally distracted that she had lost easily. That wouldn’t happen again. She was ready.

When she felt she was running out of air, she pulled Reign out with her, and threw her up to the sky. She fired her heat vision at her, a few seconds before she reacted. Reign fired back, getting closer to her. But Kara could tell she still hadn’t recovered her full capacity of breathing.

She needed something to knock her out, to split her.

_Remember you’re not just Kryptonian._

She constructed a hammer with her ring, hitting her enemy repeatedly with it. She didn’t get any results, though. The only thing she accomplished was annoying Reign more. But that was good. She was distracted.

“Jordan! Remember the force field technique?”

“Yes!” He shouted back.

“In one, two, three...”

She stopped hitting Reign, leaving her distracted for a moment. She flew under Hal, while he dropped the Kryptonite injections for her to catch, and trapped Reign inside a force field.

“Ready?” He asked, and she nodded.

He directed the force field towards her, trapping her with Reign.

Reign didn’t waste anytime, and began attacking Kara before she could react.

The Worldkiller hit her repeatedly, but she held the injection tightly in her hand, not letting go.

It wasn’t on her best interest, or Reign’s, for that matter, to start bleeding. Her acidic blood would burn Reign on contact, meaning Sam would get hurt too.

She dodged Reign’s attacks, and saw there was an exposed spot on her neck. There. She just needed to distract her.

“Sam, I know you’re in there. Ruby needs you.”

It did the trick. Reign stopped for a moment. She didn’t waste a second. In a flash, Kara buried the injection on Reign’s neck.

The change started immediately. The Worldkiller’s face contorted, screaming out as her body split into two.

Sam came to the surface, unconscious. Reign was awake, but weak for the moment. She wouldn’t be weak much longer.

“Hal, it’s done. Get Sam out of here.”

Hal released the force field, and lifted Sam on his arms. “What about you?”

“I’m going to be okay. This is my fight.”

He nodded, but worry displayed on his features.

“Civilians first, Jordan.” She wouldn’t drag another person into her fight. No one else was going to get hurt on her behalf.

He left, and when she was sure he was far away, she turned to Reign.

She had regained her strength, moving to strike at Kara.

  
The real battle was about to begin.

_  
“Rao, protect us, so that we might protect others.”_


	7. Chapter 7

Mon-El was in the brink of losing his mind.

Kara had successfully separated Reign from Sam, who was being treated at the DEO’s infirmary. He noticed the relieved look Alex got when she saw Hal Jordan carry Sam inside.

He knew that look. It was the same look Kara had given him when—

No. He couldn’t think about that. Not at that moment.

Kara was fighting the biggest fight of her life. He turned to the huge screens displaying the fight, biting his nails.

He knew Kara was strong. He knew she would be victorious.

But still.

He wanted to be there with her. He wanted to be by her side while she fought valiantly. And he couldn’t.

Reign taunted Kara, flying around her.

_“So you’re alone. Again. See, Supergirl? Everyone abandons you.”_

Kara’s red eyes shone bright, but didn’t respond.

_“Think about it. Your parents abandoned you. They lied to you. Your cousin abandoned you almost the second you landed on Earth.”_

Kara swung a fist at Reign, but she quickly evaded it.

_“And do you know what’s worse? Mon-El abandoned you. He swore he loved you, but look at him. He left you.”_

  
It was like the world had stopped. A second that would never end.

How did she know that? How did she know about him?

Everything about Kara’s demeanor changed. First, shock displayed on her features. She probably was wondering the same thing he did. Then anger. Her red eyes showed pure rage. She didn’t wait for another taunt.

She lunged towards the Worldkiller, hitting her face with her bare fists.

It was almost like there was fire coming out of her ring.

Mon-El knew Reign didn’t stand a chance.

When Reign finally managed to get out of Kara’s attack, she grabbed a traffic light nearby and swung it at Kara’s head. And she hit the target.

He winced at the sound of the hit.

Kara was disoriented for a second, but then shook her head and counter attacked, with the same traffic light.

“Mon-El!” He turned around to see Imra walking towards him.

He gave her a quick hug. “Hey, Imra, what are you doing here?”

“What everyone else is doing. Watching the fight. Is that really her?”

“Yes. That’s... Supergirl.” A lump formed on his throat.

Imra held his hand and squeezed it.

Mon-El knew he’d told Imra everything would be okay between them, that things would work out.

But for Rao’s sake, he wanted her to leave him alone at that moment. His mind was consumed by Kara, and Imra’s ‘support’ at that moment wasn’t helping.

He turned his attention back to the screen, where Reign and Kara were hitting each other back and forth. It looked like a tennis match.

_“You’ll never defeat me, Kara Zor-El. Abandonment made you weak.”_

Kara screamed in rage, and then... blood came out of her mouth?

“What the hell?” Alex, who had been very quiet, spoke.

“That’s rage plasma.” Hal answered. “Acidic liquid that burns anything. This fight isn’t going to last much longer. Kara already won.”

“How do you know?” Winn bit his nails.

The Green Lantern smiled. “She is, as she likes to call it, on ‘full wrath mode’. Taunting Kara wasn’t the best course of action Reign could’ve taken. Now Kara is fully focused on her rage. In just a few seconds, Reign is going down.”

Mon-El felt a pang of jealousy at the implied inside joke Kara had with Jordan.

But relief washed over him when he heard that. And it was true. The fight was not going to last.

Reign’s face had been burned off, and she was barely even able to hover in the sky. Her breathing was shallow.

It was over.

Kara didn’t seem to think so. She approached the Worldkiller, and without hesitation, without a doubt, she did what no one thought she would ever do.

She snapped her neck.

Mon-El looked around him in disbelief. Imra let go of his hand in shock. Winn had dropped his tablet. J’onn was collected, but his eyes were wide. Hal didn’t look surprised at all.

“She said— she told me she was going to kill her.” Alex put her hand in her forehead. “I didn’t think she would actually do it.”

“What did you all want her to do?” Hal asked. “Bring her here, and let her get strong enough to break out of her cell? Of course not. She did the right thing.”

That man was really starting to get on Mon-El’s nerves. But he was right. Kara did what she had to do.

He just didn’t expect it. His comet eyed, bright Kara killed someone.

“And please, don’t push her too much when she comes back. Rage is in full control of her mind. I’ve seen Gardner pressure her after a battle and, believe me, it’s not pretty.”

Immediately, Kara flew in, head held high.

Her eyes landed on him, and Imra, who was beside him. Her jaw clenched hard.

Kara turned her back on him. “Here’s your champion. Reign’s dead.”

“Kara, are you okay?” Alex approached her, and her hard expression softened for a brief second.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Listen, Julia is trapped in a fortress in the desert. Purity isn’t in control.”

“How do you know?”

“I looked for her. You guys can split them and then knock Purity out with Kryptonite. If you use that combined with a red sun grenade, she’ll be weak and you can kill her.”

“What about you?” Alex asked fearfully.

She already knew the answer.

“I have a team. I’ve already been gone for too long, I can’t stay here. You can defeat Purity without me. You have them.” She nodded towards him and Imra.

“Kara—“ Alex was on the verge of tears.

“I— I’m sorry, Alex. I’ll visit you. I promise.”

He couldn’t just stand there and let her go. He needed to talk to her. And to give her back what was already hers.

Mon-El stepped towards her, ignoring his wife. Kara was turning to talk to the Green Lantern, but he blocked her path.

“Kara, I need to talk to you.”

“Get out of my way.” Her voice was harsh.

Oh, so her anger was only directed at him.

“I just want to give you this.” He got the necklace out of his shirt. “It’s yours.”

Something flashed in her eyes, but was replaced by hardness.

“You know what? You can keep it. You and my mom have many things in common. You both left me alone. She would want you to have it.”

His breath caught in his throat at her statement. She pushed him aside, walking past him.

She hugged Hal. “Are you coming with me?”

“No, I’ll catch up with you later. I have something to do in Metropolis.”

“Okay. I’ll see you later.” She gave him a kiss on the lips.

Mon-El knew she was doing it just to spite him. But that didn’t mean it hurt less.

Kara flew away again, leaving them behind.

Jordan turned to Alex, who had started crying silently. “Alex, I’m sorry. I’ll try to talk to her. It’s just really hard for her, to see you guys and not being able to hang out with you and be normal.”

Alex nodded. “I know, I get it. Hal, how long has it been for her? She doesn’t remember things that she wouldn’t normally forget.”

He looked away. “That’s not my secret to tell. Kara will tell you when she’s ready.”

Who was he? Kara’s brain? He spoke like he knew everything. Mon-El was tired of it.

“How the hell do you know? It’s not like you’re inside her mind.”

Hal acknowledged him for the second time since he’d been there. “Listen, Mon-El. I haven’t ripped you apart with my bare hands just because Kara wouldn’t like it. I kindly suggest you stop making her suffer, because I will not hesitate next time. Have a nice night.” He waved at Alex and Winn. “Bye, guys.”

 

* * *

 

 

  
Kara arrived at Ysmault and went immediately to the bar, exhausted.

She poured herself a drink, downing it in one go.

“You know, if drinks affected you like they do to the rest of us, you’d be an alcoholic.” Guy Gardner stood in front of her, chuckling.

She smiled. “Hey, I like the burn on the throat.”

He sat in the stool next to hers. “So, what happened?”

“I defeated Reign.”

“Wow, such eloquence.” She rolled her eyes at his sarcasm. “Kara, I’m glad. But what’s bothering you?”

She frowned. “Nothing’s bothering me. I’m not leaving again, by the way. Only if another Worldkiller is found.”

“Kara, I’ve told you you’re free to come and go as you please. And you can talk to me, if you change your mind about keeping things bottled up inside.”

“Maybe one day.” She got up and walked to her quarters.

Guy was right. There was something bothering her. But she wasn’t in the mood to share.

It was about what Reign said. She couldn’t help but think it was true.

Mon-El left her. Not when he left the planet, because that was her fault. He left her when he married someone else.

Oh, she’d been so naive when she told Alex he didn’t dump her. Because he had. Even if she hadn’t been aware.

He swore he loved her. But that love must have faded away. She wanted to know how. She could use the tip.

Because even after the longest time, even after being controlled by a ring that represented the exact opposite of love, she couldn’t stop thinking about him.

It was a curse.

She still felt jealous when she saw him with his wife.

She often found herself awake at night, wondering how it happened. How he forgot her. How long it took him to marry someone else.

The answers to those questions would be easy to get if she just went up and asked him. But she was afraid of his response. And knowing hurt more than not knowing.

Kara was also worried about Alex. She promised she would visit, but she knew it wasn’t enough. They used to see each other every day. Eventually, Alex would have to let her go. She couldn’t see a future beyond the ring. There was no way she could get rid of it. She was cursed for eternity to live without love, without the people she cared about.

Sometimes she asked herself if death was better than that.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Mon-El arrived at the Legion ship with Imra, after a silent way there.

All he could think about was Kara’s words. His guilt surpassed the highest levels. Because she was right. He left her alone, in so many ways. He hurt her in ways she had never been hurt before. And seeing her like that, seeing her suffer, made his heart ache for her. He wanted to hold her and tell her she wasn’t alone. That she was loved, more than she imagined. But he couldn’t.

He wanted to know what would happen to Earth in the 31st century if he divorced Imra. Sure, the wars had ended, they had unifies the planets for the greater good, but would the peace be kept? If he broke up with her, would people be safe?

He wished he could take it all back. He wished he could’ve found another way. He had ruined his own life.

He heard Imra’s voice but didn’t get what she said.

“What?”

“I said, it was intense back there at DEO.”

“Oh. Yeah.”

“You were jealous.” Accusation was clear in her tone.

He clenched his teeth and fists. “I was not jealous.”

“I thought we were going to be honest.”

“Just like you were for seven years.”

Although he was trying to get over it, he couldn’t forget it. She used him.

“I told you the truth, Mon-El. And I need you to be honest with me.”

“I already told you what I had to tell you.” He ran His fingers through his hair. “I didn’t ask for this, you know. I didn’t ask to be sent away. I didn’t ask to be trapped in an arranged marriage. I didn’t ask to come back here. I’m trying really hard to make things work between us.”

At the mention of being sent away, Imra adverted her eyes from him, biting her lip.

His face fell. “What? Do you know something I don’t?”

“Mon-El, you have to understand, I—“

“Tell me.” Fury was increasing inside of him. She remained silent. “Tell me!”

“Your fate wasn’t to be sent to the 31st century. I was the one who opened the black hole you went through. I pulled you out of your timeline.”

He felt like the weight of the world had been dropped on him in just a second. He was never meant to live in the 31st century. He’d been forced to. He’d been betrayed by the person he thought was his friend, his family.

He took a deep breath. “Why?”

“We needed you to make sure Pestilence died on her fight with Supergirl. You were the only one who knew her fighting style, her technique. That way we could ensure the Worldkiller’s death when we went back in time.”

“What would’ve happened to me? If you hadn’t pulled me out of my timeline.”

“I’m not sure you want to hear—“

“Tell me, Imra. Right now.” It was taking all of his willpower not to snap.

“Supergirl would’ve gone to space to take you back to Earth. She would’ve sent you to Earth One until they found a cure for your lead allergy. After two months, they would’ve found it. And you would’ve gone back to your Earth.”

He let out a scream of pain, tears falling from his eyes.

He couldn’t be anywhere around that woman. “This false arrangement is over, but I think you already know that.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

It had been two days since Mon-El learned the harsh truth.

He had bolted from the Legion ship, not seeing where he was going. But his feet led him to where his subconscious wanted to be. Kara’s apartment.

He figured that since no one was living there, he could just sleep for a while. He didn’t have anywhere to stay that late in the night. But he ended up being there for two days, and probably would stay longer.

Because for the first time in seven years, he felt at home.

The first night, heartbroken and tired, he crashed on the couch and fell asleep, only to wake up at 3 AM to stare at the ceiling. He was in a sort of uncomfortable position, but he couldn’t move to the bed. Kara had been there with Hal Jordan, doing something that he didn’t want to think about.

He decided to look for something to eat in the fridge. Why not? He wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon. There weren’t many things in there. Milk, orange juice, yogurts, fruits.

He grabbed a banana, and sat on the couch again. He looked around him, and his chest tightened. While he felt at home, there was still something missing. Kara.

The apartment looked cold and void without her, without her brightness. He imagined a world where he hadn’t been so cruelly ripped away from her. Where they were happy, living together. Where he tried to make breakfast in bed for her every morning, but failed at every attempt, because she would wake up before he could finish. Where she would shower him with kisses every morning, murmuring ‘I love you’.

Sadly, that would never happen. They were robbed of their chance.

He mentally punished himself for trying to work things out with someone who had never even cared for him. He’d been so naive, to think she wasn’t hiding anything else.

He was worried about the hundreds of thousands of people whose lives depended on that arrangement. But he knew one thing. He would never forgive Imra. He would never reconcile with her. Never.

He was going to send her back to where she came from.

She deserved it.

And there wasn’t a place for him in the 31st century. He never truly felt at home. It was clear where he belonged. In the 21st century, in National City. With his friends. With his family. With Kara. If he ever got to see her again.

At 6 AM, he went to DEO, in hopes to speak to Winn. He was his best friend. The only one, it seemed.

He told Winn everything that happened with Imra, and he sympathized with him, telling him he was sorry for everything that happened to him. He advised to tell J’onn, but Mon-El wasn’t ready. He was still too shocked. He told Alex, too. At least she would hate him less. But what she did surprised him. She wrapped him in a hug, telling him that it was going to be okay. And he knew she meant it.

They trapped Purity that day. They successfully separated her from Julia, and eliminated the Worldkiller. But there was no sign of Kara.

He wondered how long it had been for her. It broke his heart to think how much time she had spent alone.

On the second day, Mon-El decided to clean up the apartment a little bit, to get his mind off things. Everything was in order, he only had to clean some dust here and there. Until he went to her closet, and found a box with his name on it. He knew he shouldn’t look into it, because she probably wouldn’t want him to. But he had to. He needed to know.

Upon opening it, he saw his old clothes. Jeans, hoodies, shirts. He smiled at the sight of his New York Yankees hat. Kara loved that team, and had made him a fan too. Then he saw his glasses, the ones Kara bought for him. She’d been so happy to show him her world.

He dug deeper, and found his copy of Romeo and Juliet. He gasped upon seeing it, remembering the quote he had dedicated to Kara.

_“The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars.”_

Tears started forming on his eyes, and he dropped the book back on the box. Rao, he missed her so much. All he wanted was to be with her again, to be able to hold her in his arms.

She was with Hal Jordan. But he knew she didn’t love him. Love was fatal for a Red Lantern. And he also didn’t blame her for having a casual relationship with him. She deserved to move on.

But he couldn’t stand seeing her in pain for all eternity, just because of a stupid ring.

Then, a new purpose formed on his mind. He would do everything in his power to free her from the Red Lantern ring. He would find a way.

He just hoped she didn’t have to wait too long.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

After succeeding in a mission, all Kara wanted was to go back to her quarters and rest.

But Guy stopped her, calling her name.

“Kara, wait. I need to talk to you.”

She turned to him. “Yes?”

“Kara, I see you aren’t happy here. You’ve been locked up in your quarters or the bar, and never come out unless we have a mission. You miss them. You miss your family. And I can’t watch you suffer. You don’t deserve it.” He sighed and gave her a half smile. “I’m releasing you from the Red Lantern Corps.”

Her stomach dropped. “What? You’re kicking me out?”

“I’m not kicking you out. Hell, you’re the best in our team. But you don’t deserve this life. You deserve better.”

“Do you know how angry I was, even before I got this ring? The only thing that’s helped me deal with that was being here with you. With all of you.”

She wouldn’t know what to do if she left. She wouldn’t even know how to live on Earth again. After such a long time with the Reds, she couldn’t imagine her life outside the team.

“That’s not true, Kara. You’re the strongest ring bearer I have ever seen. The way you control your rage... it’s amazing. You have a future. You can do great things.”

“But even if I do go... the ring... I can’t take it off. I’m a Red forever.” She sighed. “Without you and the others, how will I— what am I going to do?”

“You’ll find your way. You’re strong, Kara. You didn’t choose this life, but I know you can make something out of it. Something good. You’re better than all of us. Go to Hal. He can keep helping you, might even be able to find a way to get that ring off your finger.”

“Maybe I’ll never find one.”

“Oh, kid.”

He pulled her into a hug.

“Don’t call me that.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

Five days. Five days since they last heard of Kara.

Mon-El had tried to focus on other things. But he couldn’t. His mind always drifted to her. Especially when he was in the apartment.

When he told Winn and Alex where he was living, they were surprised. But he was surprised too, because Alex didn’t say anything about it. He thought she would be mad. In fact, Alex had warmed up to him. Maybe she understood what he was going through. It wasn’t easy.

He had started his research to free Kara of the Red Lantern ring, but with no results. There was nothing about it at the DEO. He needed to look somewhere else.

He hadn’t heard from Imra since he ran out of the ship. Thank Rao. He never wanted to see her again.

Everything was quiet in the city. They were all in the DEO, but since there was nothing to do, Mon-El wore regular clothes. And the Yankees cap. Because it reminded him of the time he spent with the love of his life.

But his breath was taken away when he saw her land on the balcony. He blinked rapidly, thinking it was an illusion. It wasn’t. She was still there, staring back at him.

“Kara?”

She approached him, almost timidly. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. “Hi. Is Alex here?”

“No, not right now. She’s out in the field training rookies.”

“Where’s Winn?”

“I think he’s testing some alien artifacts.” She looked helpless. “Kara, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

That was the biggest lie she had ever said. “You can talk to me. I promise I’m not going to say anything if you don’t want me to. I’ll listen.”

She sighed, and changed into regular clothes. “Follow me.”

 

  
Kara led him to the alien bar, and they sat in a booth.

“Your Yankees hat.” She almost smiled. Almost.

“I got it from your apartment. I didn’t mean to pry. I just... I didn’t think you would come back.” He couldn’t tell her he had been living there. Or maybe he could, but he was afraid of her reaction.

“No, it’s okay. You look really cute.” His heart started racing, and she seemed to realize what she said, because she cleared her throat. “But that’s not what I wanted to talk about.”

He nodded, but his heart was still out of control. He hoped she wasn’t hearing.

“First of all, I’m really sorry for what I said to you.” She started speaking. “It’s not your fault you left. It was mine. I got carried away by my anger. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Kara. I get it. And it’s not your fault I left.”

She knew that argument wasn’t going to go anywhere, so she simply looked away. “Still. I’m really sorry.”

“What happened to you?”

“I, uh, I left the Red Lantern Corps.”

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “What?”

“Yeah. Gardner said I had a future. That I could do better things. But... I don’t know who I am without the Reds. I had a purpose there. Now, I have nothing. I don’t know what to do.”

Mon-El was shocked that Kara was actually opening up to him. And pleased. But the way she spoke... her voice... it was like she had the weight of more than one world on her shoulders. She sounded tired, sad.

“You’re not just a Red Lantern. You’re Kara. The person who’s helped so many people, friends or not. The person who fights for justice in more than one way. The person who opens her heart to people who need it. That’s you, Kara. That’s who you are.”

She looked down to her hands. “But I can’t do that. Changing into these clothes, it drains a lot of energy. I can’t do it forever. I can’t help people if I’m—“

“What?”

“Never mind. And I can’t even go back to work. What am I going to say? Hey, I disappeared, but I want my job back.”

“Kara, it’s only been a week. I’m sure Lena will understand.”

“A week?” She whispered.

That was bad. Really bad. Mon-El couldn’t even imagine how she was feeling. A week for them, but Rao knew how long for her. It probably didn’t compare to what he felt when she said it had been seven months since he left. But he needed to know. All he wanted was to help her. To ease her pain.

“Why don’t you tell me how long it’s been for you? Please.”

“You’d see me differently.”

“Different how?”

“You would pity me. And I hate pity.”

“I wouldn’t. I would feel sad, because I never want to see you in pain.”

Kara took a deep breath. “There’s... there’s places where time goes by really fast, but you still feel it’s slow. Like it’s in normal pace. Ysmault is one of those places.”

He stayed silent, waiting for her to continue. He didn’t want to pressure her.

“It’s been— It’s—“ In a bold move, Mon-El took her hand in his. He wanted her to feel his support.

She looked at him, and squeezed his hand. “It’s been twenty five years.”

His first reaction was to be paralyzed. He couldn’t believe it. Kara must’ve suffered so much, and for twenty five years? Rao, he wanted to cry because of her pain.

He wanted to do something, anything, to make her feel better. But there was nothing he could do to heal her. So he did something that neither of them expected.

Mon-El let go of her hand to get up from his seat, and held her in his arms. She was still against him, but after a few seconds she relaxed, wrapping her arms around his torso.

He couldn’t help but breathe in the scent of her hair. He’d missed her so much.

“You’re not alone, Kara. You have me. Always.” He whispered in her ear.

She shivered, and he heard a quiet groan.

“What happened?” He pulled a way to see her face contorted in pain.

“I can’t hug you.”

Right. She couldn’t display affection. But... if only love could hurt her, did that mean...?

“I think we should go back to the DEO.” She interrupted his train of thought.

“Yes. Of course.”

 

  
When they got back, Alex was already there. There was shock and relief on her face as she saw them arrive together.

“Kara? You’re here.” She raced towards her sister.

Kara smiled for the first time since she arrived, and Mon-El couldn’t help but smile too.

She gave Alex a hug, but brief. He knew it was because of what had happened just moments before.

“I’m back. For real this time.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s a long story. I’ll tell you everything later.”

Winn approached them too, overjoyed. “Kara!”

“Winn!” She hugged him too, and lifted him off the floor a little bit.

“Woah! Don’t let me fall.”

Kara laughed. Mon-El felt a warm feeling on his chest. That was the Kara he wanted to see. The happy, bright Kara.

She put Winn down. “So, what’s been going on here? Did you catch Purity?”

“Damn right we did.” Winn bragged. “Well, it was Mon-El. He did most of the work.”

He laughed. “We all worked together.”

“What about the Legion? Didn’t they help?”

The smiles fell off their faces. Alex, Winn, and Mon-El looked at each other, not knowing what to do. They didn’t know whether to tell her or not.

Kara’s crinkle appeared. “What is it?”

Mon-El knew they couldn’t hide it from her. It wasn’t good to keep secrets. He just had to hope for the best.

“Kara, the Legion... they lied to me. For all of those seven years. They had a mission I didn’t know about.”

“What do you mean? What mission?”

“They were going to make sure the third Worldkiller dies in battle. So she doesn’t kill Imra’s sister in the future.”

“You didn’t know?” Her jaw hardened. “How could they do that to you?”

_Oh Rao, here we go._

 

“That’s... not all.” She stared at him expectantly. His palms started sweating. “I was never meant to go through that hole in space, when you sent me away. Imra pulled me out of my timeline so that I could help them with the mission. You would’ve found a cure for my lead allergy if she hadn’t. We wouldn’t have been apart.”

The world stood still after his words. In the blink of an eye, Kara was back in her Red Lantern suit, storming out of the place.

  
They all knew where she was headed.


	9. Chapter 9

Mon-El, Alex, and Winn stood still staring at each other, too dumbfounded to do anything.

 

“What are you waiting for? Mon-El, go after her! Before she does something bad.” Alex snapped out of it.

 

“Kara would never.” Mon-El knew she wouldn’t do anything drastic, like killing. She had a pure heart.

 

“I know. But that doesn’t mean she won’t beat Imra and Brainiac up into unconsciousness.”

 

He flew away, towards the Legion ship, hoping that Kara hadn’t gotten there yet. Yeah, his hopes weren’t likely to be true. Kara was too fast.

 

When he got there, he heard Kara’s shouts.

 

He dashed towards the source of the sound, and saw Kara standing threateningly close to Imra, yelling on her face.

 

“How dare you do that to him?! When he’s only been a good person?! He helped you fight for justice, and this is how you repay him?!”

 

Imra’s face was as pale as a sheet of paper. There was blood coming out her nose, and there was a huge gash on her forehead that went down to her cheek.

 

“He’s been such a good man, so good that he was willing to sacrifice his heart to marry you, and you couldn’t even be honest with him?! Not even a little?!” She slapped Imra with the back of her hand, and the Red Lantern ring imprinted a mark on her face.

 

“Kara!” He called her name, and she turned around violently, her eyes shining in the brightest red he had ever seen. There was a red aura around her body, which looked like fire. “Stop. Please.”

 

“After everything she’s done to you?! You think she deserves to get a clean pass?!”

 

“I’m mad too, but this isn’t the answer. Please.”

 

Kara hesitated for a second, but she raised her fist to impact Imra’s face again.

 

Mon-El used super speed to stop her punch, and stood between her and Imra. “Just hear me out for a second.”

 

She nodded, letting her hand fall to her side.

 

“We’re going to send them away. I promise.” Then, he had an idea. And he had the idea to help Kara, not to help the Legion. He didn’t owe them anything. “But first, they can help you. They know things about Pestilence, which will be useful when you fight her.”

 

“I don’t want anything from people I don’t trust.”

 

“We can help you.” Imra finally spoke up, an underlying tone of fear on her voice. “We have fought Pestilence for years. We have footage and information that might be helpful.”

 

“Yes.” He backed up.

 

Kara looked between them, resignation on her face. “I don’t want to see her unless there’s something going on with the Worldkillers.”

 

“And you won’t.”

 

That reassurance didn’t prevent her from punching Imra in the face again, and his arranged wife was sent flying to the other end of the room.

 

“Kara!”

 

She turned to him again, but her expression changed. There was a sense of loss on her, a devastation. Her hand went up to his cheek, caressing it, for a split second.

 

“I’m sorry.” Her voice was strangled, and she left in a blur.

 

Seriously, what was it with her and fleeing every place they went to? In the past week, there wasn’t a time where she hadn’t abruptly left.

 

And he went after her. Every time.

 

“I’m sorry about what happened.” He offered his hand for Imra to get up.

 

“Mon-El, can we talk?”

 

“I’m not ready, Imra. I have something to do. I’ll see you around.”

 

He needed to get to Kara.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Kara fought the tears that wanted to leave her eyes, flying aimlessly. Guilt was eating her alive. Because everything Mon-El had been through was her fault. She sent him away to an awful future. To betrayal and heartbreak. Why couldn’t she find a way to save him? Why did she have to press that button? She was angry at herself. For giving him up. For letting him go.

 

She remembered when Gardner had asked her who she hated. The answer had been so quick, so easy to come out of her mouth.

 

She hated herself.

 

She landed on her apartment, because she had nowhere else to go. She felt lost. The loft was different since the last time she’d seen it. There was a blanket and a pillow on the couch. Mon-El’s box was on the table.

 

But she was too consumed by emotions to dwell on it. She knew her moods were changing too fast, over and over again. And there was a constant constriction on her chest, like someone was crushing her heart on their hand. She had to hide it. No one needed to worry.

 

Kara sat on the couch, and stared blankly at the ceiling. It wouldn’t be long before Mon-El found her. He always did. But she was just so, so tired, of bringing him pain. She didn’t want him to get hurt again.

 

She inhaled deeply, and caught the smell of Mon-El’s cologne on the blanket. Rao, she loved him. She couldn’t stop loving him, no matter how much she tried. The worst part was that they weren’t meant to be. They wouldn’t be together again.

 

There she was, selfishly thinking about her feelings instead of caring about his. He was probably too heartbroken at the fact that his wife betrayed him, and she just went to beat her up and then left him alone. She just kept letting him down.

 

“Kara.” His voice filled the empty silence of the room.

 

“Hey.” Her voice came out barely audible.

 

Mon-El sat beside her, looking straight at her eyes. “Talk to me.” His voice was the softest soft she’d ever heard.

 

“What about?” She tried to act nonchalant, but her raspy voice was giving her away.

 

He grabbed her hand again, and locked their fingers together, like he’d done at the bar, and she felt like she was floating, while the constriction on her chest tightened. “I know you’re upset, Kara. And all I want to do is help you, because I care about you. I want to know why you’re sad.”

 

“I’m—“ He always knew how to make her open up. “I’m sorry. Everything that’s happened to you is my fault. I sent you away.And it kills me that you went through so much because of what I did. And then when you told me about the Legion’s betrayal I didn’t stop to think about how you felt, I just followed my own enraged, selfish emotions. I just keep letting you down. I’m sorry.”

 

Mon-El’s eyes watered. “Stop, Kara. It’s not your fault. You saved me, okay? That’s what you did. Everything that happened after that was beyond your knowledge, or reach. And you’ve never let me down. Never.”

 

She just looked at their intertwined hands, and he sighed.

 

“I’m never going to convince you, am I?”

 

She shook her head.

 

“Then, can we make an agreement?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“No more apologies.” A sad smile appeared on his face.

 

“Okay.”

 

She could live with that, because, in all honesty, they had both apologized too much in such a short amount of time. She realized that maybe it was time to get a weight off her shoulders, it was time to let him know the truth about her feelings for him.

 

“Mon-El, there’s something I have to tell you.” He nodded for her to continue. “And I’ll get it, if you never want to talk to me again. But I need to say it before the pressure becomes too much.”

 

“You can tell me anything.” He used his thumb to caress the back of her hand, that was still being held by his.

 

It gave her the courage to keep talking. “The truth is that I’m not over you, Mon-El. Not even after twenty five years. I can’t forget you. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought of you. I wish, with all my heart, that the Legion hadn’t taken you away from me. I love you, I’ll love you forever.”

 

Mon-El’s expression was one of pure shock, and his hands were trembling.

 

Oh no, she had messed up again, hadn’t she?

 

“You— you don’t have to say anything, it’s okay. I just needed to get that off my chest.”

 

“Kara...” He got closer to her, until their lips were mere centimeters away from each other, her breath mixing with his.

 

She looked down at his lips, and he licked them in anticipation. But she couldn’t... she couldn’t kiss him. It wasn’t right. Even though her body ached to touch him, to feel him.

 

She couldn’t. She couldn’t. She had to pull away.

 

He moved even closer, and her lips slightly grazed his. She felt the heat of his mouth on hers. Just as Mon-El was about to really kiss her, she pulled back.

 

“I can’t. I can’t do this.”

 

Mon-El’s eyes were closed as he sighed. “Kara, I promise you, I’m not going to give up until I find a way to free you from that ring.”

 

“You don’t have to do that.”

 

Her connection to the ring was getting weaker.

 

She had to think horrible thoughts.

 

“Of course I have to. You have suffered so much, Kara. I will do everything I can to make you feel better.”

 

Horrible thoughts couldn’t cross her mind while he was talking to her like that. When his voice was so soft.

 

She wanted to be able to kiss him and hold him. With all of her heart. But her impending death if she did so was an obstacle.

 

“Do you want me to leave?” There was a hint of sadness on his voice.

 

A knot formed on her throat. “I don’t want you to leave. Never. But I—“

 

“I know, Kara. It’s okay.” He smiled. “I promise you this is going to end.”

 

He showed himself out, and Kara was left alone again.

 

She just wanted the pain to stop.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Mon-El’s heart was going to break of his chest at any moment.

 

Kara, oh, his Kara, had told him everything he had ever wanted to hear from her.

 

She loved him.

 

He wanted to scream out of joy. He couldn’t believe he had once doubted her love for him. He’d been so blind. She loved him. She loved him while she was away for 25 years. She still loved him.

 

And he was so desperate to kiss her. To finally feel her lips against his.

 

But then Kara pulled away. She was unable to kiss him.

 

He had to find a cure. As soon as possible.

 

But he didn’t know where to look. There was nothing on the DEO files.

 

He flew aimlessly, until he felt a presence beside him.

 

“Hey, Mon-El.”

 

“Clark? What are you doing here?”

 

The boy scout chuckled. “I’m here to help you find a cure for Kara.”

 

“Well, I have no idea where to look. There’s nothing on the DEO database.”

 

“But you haven’t been in the Fortress.”

 

“The Fortress? You think we could find something there?”

 

Clark shrugged. “There’s an answer for almost everything in there.”

 

“Then lead the way.”

 

There was silence as they made their way to the Fortress, but Clark then cleared his throat.

 

“Look, Mon-El, I’m sorry for strangling you. And for what I said. I wasn’t thinking clearly, and honestly all I wanted to do was make someone pay for what happened to Kara. But that was very wrong, so I apologize.”

 

He really didn’t know what to say. That was also what he had wanted to do, deep down. He had wanted someone to pay.

 

“It’s okay. There was some truth about what you said. It is partly my fault. I would’ve done what you did too.”

 

“Still, I shouldn’t have said that. And I also played a part on her rage. I left her alone to live with strangers. It turned out well, but I regret it like it happened yesterday.”

 

Mon-El just nodded and kept flying. He could see the entrance to the Fortress on the horizon.

 

They landed and entered the place, and Clark put his hand on the scanner.

 

“Kal-El, how may I be of assistance?” Kelex immediately appeared.

 

“Kelex, I want you to tell me everything about breaking the bond between a Red Lantern ring and its bearer.”

 

“There is no way to break the bond of the Red Lantern.” Kelex responded, and Mon-El let out a groan of frustration. “The ring replaces the heart and serves its functions, therefore it is not recommended to take it off. But, there have been rumors that the bond was broken once. It is seen as a myth.”

 

“Tell me.” He was biting his nails at that point.

 

“Once, a woman named Clarissa was enraged by her parents’ assassination. A ring came flying to her, proclaiming her as a Red Lantern. But that was not what she wanted. She had someone special in her life, her boyfriend. Clarissa got transported to the home world of the Red Lanterns, where she was told about her situation. She fell into despair, because she wasn’t able to love Jonathan, her boyfriend. She visited him, but could never show him any affection, in fear of death. Time passed, but one of the Red Lanterns took pity on Clarissa, and brought Jonathan to their home world. She told her that they could break the bond with true love’s kiss, but they had to disappear so their leader wouldn’t find them. And they did. Unfortunately, the leader of the Lanterns found out, and on his rage, he placed a spell on every ring, making it fatal to love someone.”

 

Mon-El felt defeated. He’d had hope when Kelex was telling the story, but at the end it had been crushed.

 

What was he going to do? How was he going to help Kara?

 

“Anything else?” He heard Clark ask.

 

“It is said that if the love is strong enough, if it is true, then the spell would be broken, and the bearer would be free of the ring without dying.”

 

And the hope came back. But it was risky. And he wasn’t sure if he would be able to take that chance, given the fact that Kara could die.

 

“Thank you Kelex, that would be all.” Clark turned to him. “What do you think?”

 

“I, uh, it’s hard. There is a chance Kara could die.”

 

“But there is also a chance that she could be saved. And I have seen the way you look at her. You love her more than anything else.”

 

“Yes.” His voice was low. “I do.”

 

“Then you should try. She deserves to be happy, and I can see you are her happiness. I believe your love is strong enough. What do you say?”

 

“Yeah. I’ll try.”

 

He was ready to make Kara happy. He was ready to fix her heart, and take her pain away. He was going to give her everything she had dreamed of.

 

“Then go.”

 

He didn’t need to be told twice. He had never flown as fast as he did on that moment.

 

 

 

 

In the blink of an eye, he was standing in front of Kara, at her apartment.

 

She stood up and paused the movie she was watching. “Mon-El, I need some time to—“

 

“Wait.” He held both of her hands. “Listen to me. Please.”

 

She nodded. “I found a way to free you.”

 

Her eyes went wide. “Really? What is it?”

 

“True love’s kiss.”

 

Her face fell down. “That’s... not likely.”

 

“It is. I heard that it can break the spell that makes love fatal for Red Lanterns. There is a slight chance that it might not work, but it is up to you, if you’re willing to do it.”

 

Kara was stunned into silence, so he continued. “I hope you already know by now, but if you don’t, I’ll say it: I love you, Kara.” She gasped. “I love you, with all of my heart. You are my Kryptonite. You always will be. And I believe that our love is strong enough to break that bond, our love is true. I hope you believe that too.”

 

She swallowed hard. “Yes, of course I do.”

 

He grinned, and she didn’t wait any longer. Her arms wrapped around his middle, as she claimed his lips on hers. He put his hand on the back of her head desperately, kissing her back with all of his might.

 

It was like finally being able to breathe.

 

But Kara’s knees buckled, and they broke the kiss, just as she fell unconscious, and the ring literally flew out of her finger.

 

 

 

“Kara!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Supergirl fandom is so negative I swear to God I’m—
> 
> I can’t belive people turn everything into pessimism and believe anything a stranger says.


	10. Chapter 10

Mon-El couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t. Kara was unconscious on his arms.

 

The ring had just flown away, and she was magically back into normal clothes. She was breathing. But if it had worked, why wasn’t she waking up? She had to wake up. 

 

“Kara, please. Wake up.” He caressed her cheek. “I love you.”

 

She twitched under his touch, making his heart race. But she didn’t open her eyes. Instead, she mumbled something unintelligible. Was she dreaming?

 

“Rao, please.” He wasn’t one to pray, but he was desperate. “Let Kara live. I beg you, if you really are listening, let her wake up.”

 

A moment went by without any movements, as tears fell from his eyes. The love of his life wasn’t opening her eyes, and there was nothing else he could do. Nothing. He failed her. He let her down. And he would never forgive himself if she—

 

Suddenly, she gasped, eyes opening abruptly.

 

“Kara?”

 

Her gaze was fixed on his tear strained face. “Hey, don’t cry. I’m here.”

 

He laughed breathlessly. “Yes, you are. You’re free.”

 

She leaned into him, resting her forehead against his. “Because of your love for me. You set me free, Mon-El.”

 

He closed the distance between their lips, kissing her with desperation and love. She sensed his pain, and returned the kiss with soft touches to his face.

 

“We’re okay.” Kara sighed. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

 

Mon-El dived back into her lips, more passionately. But their kiss was interrupted by the sob that escaped him. He couldn’t control it. He was still shaking with the fear of losing her.

 

Kara looked at him sadly. “Mon, say something, sweetheart. Please.”

 

“Kara, I—“ Another sob. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

 

“You’re not going to lose me. I promise you.” She kissed his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

He nodded, closing his eyes. She was real. She wasn’t going to fade away.

 

“Come on.” She got up from his arms, and took his hand to lead him to the couch. “Let’s sit here.”

 

He sat down, and she sat on his lap. Kara kissed his forehead softly. “I love you.”

 

“I love you.” He intertwined their hands. “With everything that I have.”

 

She smiled against his skin. “I love when you say that.” She placed a kiss on his nose, and then another one on his cheek. “I’m right here with you.”

 

She made him believe it. He wouldn’t let anything get between them again. He would protect her, just as he knew she would protect him.

 

“After you left...” Kara spoke softly. “I had a dream, where I was walking down this path, like this one, and it was peaceful, and serene... and you were there, waiting for me. And all I wanted was for you to be in that field with me. And now you are.”

 

“Now I am.” His voice was raw with emotion.

 

She ran her fingers through his hair, and he let his eyes close at the touch. They were together, at last. All of his dreams were coming true. After seven years, he was finally with her. But...

 

He felt selfish. She was the one who had gone through 25 years of pain, and yet she was comforting him. It had to be the other way around.

 

“Kara, are you okay?”

 

“I’m happy to be with you.”

 

“But...”

 

She sighed. “I’ve just... seen, done, and said horrible things. And I can’t get that out of my head. It’s going to haunt me forever.”

 

Mon-El highly doubted that Kara had done anything awful. But she had a golden heart, which meant she would forever regret anything she might’ve done during her time as a Red. It would take him a lot to convince her that she wasn’t a bad person, he knew that. But he was never going to stop trying, until she was convinced. He would be her support, and he would make her happy. Always.

 

“You are strong, love. Stronger than anything. And you were controlled by rage. You’ll be able to overcome this, and I’m going to be with you, all the way.”

 

“You think so?”

 

“Of course I do.”

 

“I hope so.” She looked away from him. “I’m sorry, Mon-El. For everything I did to you.”

 

“No more apologies. We promised.” He caressed her knuckles. “I don’t blame you for anything. I made you suffer, Kara. I think you went easy on me, given everything that I put you through.”

 

“Don’t say that.”

 

“It’s true, though. I want you to be okay, Kara. You can talk to me, anytime you want.”

 

“At first, when I disappeared, I was just so angry, I didn’t want to see any of you again. As time passed, I was angry at myself, for not coming back to you guys. That’s what... kept me tied to the ring. The hatred I had for myself. And then, I started forgetting small things. Maybe on purpose, I don’t know. I knew time was different on Earth, so I took long to return. When I finally did, I thought I was ready. But turns out I wasn’t. I lashed out at everyone.”

 

She opened up to him, but he felt completely useless. He knew she wasn’t going to feel less guilty with anything he said. But he had to reassure her.

 

“Kara, they’re not mad at you. They understand what you went through. They just want to see you happy again, that’s all they want. That’s all I want too.”

 

She smiled lightly. “You make me happy.”

 

He returned her smile, and gave her a peck. “Then I’ll keep doing that. Always.”

 

“I have to talk to Alex. And Clark. And well, everyone.”

 

“I know. Do you want to go now?”

 

Kara pouted, making him chuckle. “Not yet. I just want to stay here with you for a little while.”

 

“Of course. Anything you want. But let’s get more comfortable, shall we?” Mon-El sat on the end of the couch, one leg along the length of it and the other one dangling from the edge. Kara laid almost on top of him, her back to his chest. He placed his arms around her torso, burying his nose in her hair. She put her arms on top of his, lacing their fingers together.

 

They were quiet for a while, just taking in each other’s presence. For the first time in a long time, they both felt at peace. Mon-El was relieved, to say the least, that the plan had worked. Thank Rao. It was amazing that their love was strong enough to break a spell. He wasn’t so surprised, though. He knew he loved Kara deeply, and she loved him back just as strongly.

 

“I missed you, Mon-El.” She squeezed his hands.

 

“I know, love. I missed you too.”

 

Kara turned her head to look at him. “I think it’s time to go.”

 

He kissed her again. “As you wish. I’m going to be there by your side.”

 

Mon-El hoped everything would turn out fine. He could already imagine Kara’s joy at being reunited with her sister. Alex, Winn, and J’onn would be extremely happy to see her as herself again. He had to talk to Clark to tell him it had worked, and also, to thank him for giving him the strength he needed. And he was sure Kara wanted to see her cousin.

 

He let Kara guide him to the DEO, with a smile on her face. He knew that from that moment on, every day would be brighter.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff. That’s just it. Fluff.

Everything was confusing, to say the least.

 

Kara was overjoyed that Mon-El had saved her, and that they were back together. Finally. She’d spent an eternity fantasizing about being back on his arms, about being able to love him. And he didn’t give up on her. He was there, even after she’d put her own rage before him.

 

He was too good for the world.

 

She felt so relieved when they cuddled on the couch that, for a moment, she forgot about her life as a Red Lantern. But the memories came back, all of them. The blinding rage. The things she’d done to protect the galaxy. The people she couldn’t save because she wasn’t fast enough. The extinguished planets.

 

It was unbearable.

 

She was happy, really. But all of those memories made her feel numb. There were a lot of conflicted emotions inside of her.

 

But there was no time to think about that, as she flew beside Mon-El towards the DEO. She was finally going to see Alex again, without a curse to keep her from showing affection.

 

“Ready?” Mon-El asked her right before they landed.

 

She smiled at him. “Born ready.”

 

Alas, Kara still felt nervous. She’d been very mean to her friends. Part of her knew that they wouldn’t be angry, but the other part, the insecure one, wondered if they were really going to forgive her. She took Mon-El’s hand as they entered, trying to reassure herself.

 

“It’s okay.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m right here beside you.”

 

She saw Alex talking to an agent, and her heartbeat quickened. What if something went wrong?

 

“Alex?” Her sister turned at the sound of her voice, disbelief and shock clear on her face.

 

“Kara? It’s you.” Alex approached her, resting a hand on her cheek.

 

“Yeah, it’s me.” She was barely able to contain her emotions.

 

Her sister let out a breathy laugh, and launched herself at her. Kara let go of Mon-El’s hand to embrace her. “I’ve missed you.”

 

“Oh, Kara. I’ve missed you too. So much.” She could almost hear the tears on Alex’s voice. “How— how are you here?”

 

“It’s a long story. But Mon-El is the reason why.”

 

Alex pulled back, but kept her hands on Kara’s arms. “Of course he is. Thank you, Mon-El.”

 

“There’s no need to thank me, Alex.” Suddenly, a smirk formed on his lips. “Or should I say, sister.”

 

The older Danvers gasped and started laughing. “Woah! It really is a long story. You kids have to tell me all about it.”

 

Kara laughed with her sister and Mon-El, feeling lightness in her heart. Rao, she didn’t remember the last time she’d been so cheerful. It was thrilling and amazing. And she loved them both, with all of her heart.

 

_What if this happiness doesn’t last?_

 

No. She had to keep those thoughts, far, far away from herself. Nothing was going to happen. She couldn’t be paranoid.

 

“Where’s Winn?”

 

“Oh, he’s testing some alien devices.” Her sister replied. “But hey, what if we drop by your apartment later? I’ll tell J’onn to come with us.”

 

“Sure! We’ll tell you guys everything that happened.”

 

“Go get ready, lovebirds. I’ll bring some stuff to eat.”

 

Alex waved and turned around, probably going towards J’onn’s office.

 

“So...” Mon-El turned to her, megawatt grin in place.

 

“So?” She copied his grin.

 

“Wanna go home?”

 

“Sure. We have to get ready.”

 

In the blink of an eye, they were at her loft. Kara opened the refrigerator to find nothing inside.

 

“Damn, thank God Alex is bringing food. There is literally nothing here— Mon-El?”

 

Her throat went dry when she turned to look at him. He was shirtless, only wearing some unbuttoned pants.

 

“What—What’re you doing?” She felt a rush of heat rising to her neck and face.

 

“I was changing into the clothes I have here, but I don’t know what shirt to wear. Mind to help me choose?” He had a smug smirk plastered on his face. She hated it.

 

“You’re so doing this on purpose.”

 

“What?” He laughed. “Kara, I just want you to help me.”

 

She decided to play along. “Alright, fine. Lead the way.”

 

He walked towards her bedroom, giving her a clear view of his muscled back and butt. She almost drooled as she trailed behind him.

 

“What do you think?” He held up two shirts in front of him. “The red shirt or the black one?”

 

As soon as she saw the red shirt, her heart jumped. It was as red as her eyes had been. As red as the ring that had been on her finger. As red as the blood of the millions of people she failed to save.

 

Her eyes widened. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t— she had to—

 

“Kara?” Mon-El stepped closer to her. “Hey, I’m here. It’s okay. You’re here with me.”

 

She looked at him, trying not to cry. “Mon-El.”

 

“It’s okay, sunshine. Focus on me.”

 

She stared at his eyes, and was met with grey serenity. His warm gaze made her shoulders relax. She took deep breaths, calming down.

 

“Thank you, Mon. I’m sorry for that.” She wrapped her arms around him, resting her forehead on his chest.

 

“Hey, now. There’s nothing to apologize for. I’m always here for you.” He hugged her back just as strongly. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

 

“Not really. I was just remembering bad stuff.”

 

It wasn’t that Kara didn’t want to tell him, but she didn’t feel ready for it. She didn’t know if she would ever be ready. Also, Mon-El thought the world of Supergirl. If she told him how she failed, it would make her feel insecure about what he thought. Even though it probably wouldn’t change anything, because he could understand and wouldn’t see her differently.

 

“Okay. Just know that I’ll listen if you want me to.”

 

“I know.” She placed a kiss on his chest. “Thank you.”

 

Mon-El lifted her chin and gave her a comforting kiss. She sighed into it, letting her hands roam through his smooth skin. He teased his tongue on her lips, and they parted to let him in. Butterflies flew on her stomach as she felt his tongue against hers. Her hands slipped down to his lower abdomen, making him groan.

 

“See?” She broke the kiss with a smile, breathing heavily. “I knew the shirt was just an excuse.”

 

“It... may have been.” He caressed her hair.

 

“Huh.”

 

A knock on the door startled her, making her jump out of Mon-El’s arms.

 

“It’s them! Put on something, quick.”

 

“Grife, I thought they would take longer to come.” He complained as he put on the black shirt. “When are we gonna get some time alone?”

 

She giggled as she walked away to open the door. “Hey, there’ll be plenty of that later. So don’t pout.”

 

Winn, J’onn, and Alex were there, smiling upon seeing her.

 

“Kara!” Winn was the first one to lunge forward, hugging her.

 

“Winn! I missed you so much.” She grinned, closing her eyes into the hug.

 

“Me too. I’m so glad you’re here.” He pulled away and let J’onn come forward. Kara felt a knot forming on her throat.

 

“J’onn, I— I’m so sorry.”

 

Without saying a word, the often reserved man embraced her. “You’re so strong, Kara. I’m so proud of you.”

 

“Thank you, Pa.”

 

She was surprised. She’d thought J’onn was going to be mad at her for letting her emotions take over herself. But he wasn’t, and it was such a relief. She hadn’t wanted to feel like she’d let him down.

 

He gave her a smile and entered the apartment, greeting Mon-El.

 

“See, sis?” Alex placed an arm around her shoulders. “Everything’s okay. You didn’t have to worry so much.”

 

“How did you know I was worried?”

 

“Your eyes, little sister. Not everyone can notice, but Mon-El and I are pretty good at knowing what’s going on with you.”

 

“Yeah, I guess you are.”

 

“Now come on, let’s get the party started.”

 

 

 

 

They spent the night talking and playing games, and Kara and Mon-El explained how they broke the connection to the ring and got back together. Their friends were amazed and truly happy for them. One by one, they left the apartment, until it was just the boy from Daxam and the girl from Krypton.

 

“How was that?” Mon-El wrapped his arms around her waist, swaying her side to side.

 

Kara laced her fingers behind his neck, beaming. “It was really great. I really missed hanging out with our friends.”

 

“I know. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He kissed her forehead. “And now...”

 

“Now...?” Her tone was teasing.

 

“Now we’re all by ourselves.”

 

“I did tell you that we would have plenty of time.”

 

He stared at her hungrily and dived into her lips, passionately kissing her. She climbed on his torso and he led her to the bedroom, never pulling away from her mouth. Their clothes were soon discarded and thrown all over the floor.

 

The owner of her heart gently laid her down on the bed. “I love you, Kara.”

 

“I love you too, Mon. So much.”

 

 

 

He made love to her, and it was just like she remembered, but also so much more. He was her mate, forever. No matter what happened, she already knew that they always found their way back to each other.

 

After, when they were both worn out from professing their love for one another, Kara feel into a deep slumber, for the first time in years. She was finally back on Mon-El’s arms.

 

She was home, at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am almost completely certain that Mon-El is coming back. There’s just so many clues and hints.
> 
>  
> 
> (I also realized that I hadn’t updated this story since May or June. Wow. Time really flies, and school really sucks and I despise it.)


	12. Chapter 12

_ “Kara, Atrocitus and his army are attacking Raagol! We have to go now!” _ __  
__  
  


_ Red Lanterns were all across the sky, flying into action. Kara rushed to join them, fear running through her. She knew what Atrocitus was capable of, she knew what he’d done to other planets.  _

__  
  


_ They couldn’t be late. _ __  
  


__

_ Her stomach dropped while she flew as fast as she possibly could. She didn’t want to fail. _ _  
_

 

_ They approached the planet, and with her enhanced vision, Kara could already see the chaos she had dreaded. _ __  
__  
  


_ “Quick! We have to save them!” Her voice was desperate. _ __  
  


__

_ When she landed, everything she feared materialized. The world was in flames, with innocent alien bodies all over the ground. Pools of blood surrounded them, their lifeless stare directed at the polluted sky above them. _ _  
_

 

_ She failed. She hadn’t been fast enough. _ __  
  


__

_ A hand grabbed her foot, making her heart jolt. She looked down to see a little kid, staring at her emptily. “It’s your fault. You didn’t do anything. We died because of you.” _ __  
  


__

_ “No!” She was hyperventilating already, tears rolling down her face. “No!” _ __  
  


__

_ “You killed us.” _ __  
  


__

_ “NO!” _ __  
  


__

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kara woke up with a gasp, heart racing. It wasn’t the first time she’d had that nightmare, and it wouldn’t be the last. But it still terrified her as much as it did when she started having it.

 

“Kara?” In her haste, she hadn’t noticed Mon-El beside her, worried.

 

“I—“

 

“It’s okay. Come here.” He pulled her into his arms. “You’re with me.”

 

She buried her head on his chest, noticing that her cheeks were wet. A shaky breath left her mouth.

 

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” His voice was soothing. “Just know that I have your back. No matter what.”

 

He was so good to her. It truly amazed her how much he cared about her, and how he never pressured her into anything. She didn’t want to keep hiding things from him. He would understand, and she desperately needed that. She needed someone to help her to not have nightmares anymore.

 

“I couldn’t save them, Mon.” She swallowed,with tears burning on her eyes. “I just— I wasn’t fast enough. I couldn’t do anything. It was too late.”

 

He started making circles on her back with his fingers. “Who, sunshine?”

 

“An entire planet.” She cried silently against his chest. “They were all over the ground, dead. That’s— I failed another planet.”

 

“Hey.” He held her even closer to him. “I know that right now it doesn’t seem like it, but it’s not your fault. Kara, you didn’t fail anyone. That was out of your hands, love.”

 

She remained quiet, so he continued. “I know how you feel.”

 

“You do?”

 

“Yes. For the longest time, I had nightmares about Daxam. I saw them dead on the ground, and I didn’t do anything.”

 

“But that wasn’t your fault.”

 

“See? It wasn’t your fault either. Do you know how I got through it? I had you, Kara. You were my support. And I will always be your support, if you want me to.”

 

“Of course I do. You already are.”

 

Mon-El gave her a sweet kiss, smiling. “It’s a little bit early, do you wanna sleep some more?”

 

“No.” Her hand went up to caress his face. “Let’s just... stay here forever.”

 

He chuckled. “I don’t know about forever, but maybe later I can make breakfast. That bacon you like so much.”

 

“Yes! And coffee?”

 

”Anything for you, sunshine.”

 

She hummed while her fingers drew on his chest. “I don’t know if I can sleep again.”

 

“Maybe I can help you with that. Just tell me what you need.”

 

“Sing for me?”

 

He raised an eyebrow, smiling softly. “You sure?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

She heard him start singing a sweet lullaby in a language that she recognized as Daxamite. She’d learned how to speak it weeks after Mon-El had arrived on Earth, and then she’d thought of surprising him on their first Christmas as a couple. But she never got the chance.

 

His voice was low and soft, and it made her feel comfortable and at peace. He was such a light in her life. As his melody lulled her back to sleep, she tenderly pressed her lips to his chest.

 

“Love you.”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Like he promised, Mon-El had breakfast done when she woke up. Eggs, pancakes, bacon, coffee, everything she liked. She’d missed that a lot, and she was so glad that they were finally able to experience everything together again. Just thinking about her time away from him made her heart clench.

Kara knew there was no way she wouldn’t go where he went. She’d follow him to the ends of the Earth, if that meant they wouldn’t be separated again. Even on their first night together, which seemed like forever ago, she had known he was the one for her. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. The idea of marriage had come back to her mind.

 

But what she didn’t know was whether or not Mon-El wanted to be married. He’d just been in an arranged marriage, and a bad one at that. He’d been lied to by his so called wife. Maybe he didn’t want to get married again, and honestly, she wouldn’t hold it against him. He had already suffered enough.

 

There was also a chance that he could actually want to marry her. If that was the case, how would she propose? She wanted to propose. But she had to get his thoughts on the topic without making him suspicious. Or what if he wanted to marry her, but got mad because she proposed instead of him? That would—

 

“Kara?” The voice of her beloved snapped her out of her thoughts.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Thought I lost you there.” He smiled. “You zoned out a while ago.”

 

“Sorry, babe. I was just thinking about how lucky I am to be with you.” She walked over to him, putting her arms around his torso.

 

“Well, let me tell you that I feel very lucky too. You’re truly the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Kara.”

 

Oh, Rao. He was so beautiful. She kissed him passionately, tasting the coffee on his mouth. Her hands lifted the hem of his shirt, but before she could do anything else, Mon-El separated, leaving her lips to chase after him.

 

“Wait, no.” He giggled, and her heart flipped. He rarely ever did that. “We need to go to the DEO.”

 

“But maybe I could just call Alex and—“

 

He hesitated, but then regained his composure. “No, sunshine. We still haven’t found Pestilence. We need all hands on deck right now.”

 

Kara pouted. “Fine.”

 

“We can train together later, you know.” He smirked. “Alone.”

 

His suggestion ignited a flame inside her body. “Oh. Yes, absolutely.”

 

“Let’s go.”

 

 

 

 

 

When they arrived at the DEO, Alex and Winn were talking, leaning over his computer.

 

“Hey guys.”

 

“Hey, sis.” Alex looked over at Mon-El. “Hey, brother.”

 

He laughed. “Hi, sister.”

 

Kara smiled at their exchange. She loved that they got along so well.

 

“Have you found anything on Pestilence?”

 

“Nope.” Winn replied. “Nothing at all. We were just looking over some things that have happened in the city, but nothing leads us to the Worldkiller.”

“Maybe I can help with that.” A new voice joined them, and she froze when she saw who it was.

 

Imra.

 

Oh, for Rao’s sake. She thought she wouldn’t have to deal with her again. She knew she had overreacted when she gave Imra the beating of her life, and a part of her wanted to apologize. But there was a part that told her not to, because Mon-El had suffered a lot and his ex wife deserved it. She had to hide the smirk that was forming on her face when she saw Imra’s bruises and cuts.

 

“How?” Alex asked.

 

“Pestilence infects with a mortal disease. You should look for hospital records.”

 

Winn worked on his computer, and then turned to them. “Two people have gone to the hospital with the same symptoms, but the doctors don’t know what disease it is.”

 

“Well, that’s a start.” Mon-El spoke. “We should investigate on that.”

 

“Alright. I’ll have a team looking into it.” Alex turned to them. “Kara, Mon-El, you will be called in if we find anything.”

 

“You up for training?” He smirked at her. Oh, that smirk.

 

Butterflies flew in her stomach. “Yeah, sure.”

 

She saw Imra leaving, and decided to do the right thing. “Wait for me, love.”

 

Mon-El nodded and walked towards the training room.

 

“Imra!”

 

The alluded turned around. “Kara?”

 

“Hey, um, I wanted to apologize. What I did was unacceptable and completely wrong. I’m sorry.”

 

Imra smiled. “It’s okay, Kara. You weren’t yourself when that happened. And I’ve also made huge mistakes, so I apologize for the pain I’ve caused you and Mon-El.”

 

She nodded. “Okay.”

 

“I have to go. See you.”

 

She left, and Kara walked back to the training room. Mon-El was already waiting for her.

 

“You have such a good heart, Kara.”

 

“Why?” Her cheeks took a pink color.

 

“I know you apologized. I’m not sure I would’ve. But you’re amazing, and your heart is beautiful. I love it.”

 

Without another word, she kissed him senseless. The last time they’d been on the training room, she hadn’t been able to have him. But things had changed.

 

His tongue tangled with hers, their hands touching everywhere they could reach.

 

“Kara...” He panted heavily.

 

“Make love to me, Mon.” She whispered against his lips.

 

“As you wish.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

She changed into her suit, glancing over at her boyfriend, who was getting dressed too. He was the most gorgeous man in the universe, and more importantly, his heart was made of gold. And he was hers. Completely hers.

 

“That was awesome.” He stepped towards her after getting dressed. “We should do it again.”

 

She laughed. “You mean the sex or just the training room sex?”

 

“Actually both, but I meant the training room sex. We have normal sex every five hours.”

 

Kara blushed hard. “Whaaat? We do not.”

 

“We do. And that’s not counting the times we have more than one round. You have to admit that we’ve been acting like rabbits.”

 

“Would you like us to stop, then?” She hid a smile when he gasped.

 

“Absolutely not.”

 

“That’s what I thought, babe. Let’s go patrol.”

 

Flying beside him was exhilarating. He was her partner and equal, like she’d always wanted. But that feeling was interrupted by birds falling off the sky, landing dead on rooftops. She looked over at Mon-El.

 

“Pestilence.”

 

 


End file.
